Triggering (SI) - on the edge

WingedPancake · 20-10-2009, 03:16 AM

I've been marking off my calendar to remind myself how far I've made it cut-free (exactly 4 weeks today). But things are so messed up right now that I just want to give that up and make myself feel better. It just hurts so bad.

I.Heart.And · 20-10-2009, 08:32 AM

Well done for the four weeks! That's fantastic

What is it that is making you want to self harm?
Please try and resist the urge. It won't help matters at all and you will just feel guilty for breaking four weeks.

x

WingedPancake · 20-10-2009, 12:48 PM

I don't want to get out of bed in the morning; I don't like what I do everyday. I'm annoyed with the amount of work and effort that I put into something that I don't like. I'm sick; there is something wrong with my body, and I don't know what it is. I'm tired and frustrated by being stuck in this 'nothing I can do about it' place. I finally get to see a doctor...tomorrow. I'm in a long-story-it's complicated-in limbo relationship-type thing. That's just dumping stress on me. I'll be okay either way it turns out. I just want to know. Because I have to put part of my life on hold. I think we're supposed to talk today, but he's notoriously good at managing to wiggle out of those things. I think feeling everything at one time is what's getting me down, not really one thing in particular. I've cried every day, so days over seemingly nothing, and it's not helping me emotionally. That's why I feel like I need another outlet. I feel better this morning. I mean, I still have that godawful stress, but I don't feel like I need to SI to be okay for the day.

afraidtogetbackup · 20-10-2009, 11:25 PM

wow one month. that is great. you were strong enough to make it passed previous urges and you are strong enough to make it passed this one. message me if there is anything i can do to help you through this or if there is anything you want to talk about.

Louise · 20-10-2009, 11:32 PM

well done on 4weeks that is amazing you should be proud of yourself.
I know it's hard to resist urges, but you can do it, if you harm it will
only make you feel worse. Your strong and if there is anything I can
do please send me a message.

Take care
Louise x

flawedinsomniac · 21-10-2009, 08:17 AM

Don't give up -- you've done so well so far!
With that said, even if you end up giving in, you did a wonderful job, so don't be so hard on yourself.
Just keep yourself distracted/busy and keep working to add more days to the four weeks you already have!
Take care. <3