Triggering (SI) - I should be happy

Grunge Rock Princess · 28-06-2009, 11:43 PM

but i feel so crap and down and after like 4 or 5 months free i'm just about to throw it all in. Being free is so stressful. i just cant put in the effort anymore. I'm sick of people walking over me and i'm sick of peoplejust forgetting about me. I have no one. Cause the one person thats always there hasnt been. I'm sick of coming second to everything else, i miss my friends, i miss being me.

maybe when i cut i'll find that part of me thats been missing. I'm sorry to ramble i just feel so low.

TinkerDebs · 28-06-2009, 11:48 PM

HUGS
you cant be sure cutting will find that part of you
cant you get in contact with your friends?
i know stiopping is a lot of effort but 4/5 months is a really good achievement and syou should feel good about it
please dont throw it all away

Grunge Rock Princess · 28-06-2009, 11:51 PM

All my friends live in like Spain and france now and the rest i work with and we do shifts and one is in bed, the other is in Brussels or Tenerife i think and i dont want to text the other cos he might be on an early and my bf is in bed and i just pissed him off and he has work early too. Sorry i'm rambling again.
Thank you. I know part of me is telling me not to do it but then i just dont feel myself at all right now and i dont know what else to do so i watched a film and now i feel worse. i keep arguing with my bf as well and its not his fault its mine and i dont mean to fight

I'm sorry i just dont know what else to do

TinkerDebs · 28-06-2009, 11:56 PM

do yuo write a journal or a diary??
maybe you could write how you feel

also aybe you could write letters to your friends?

Grunge Rock Princess · 28-06-2009, 11:59 PM

I dont write a diary incase it gets found but i do write stories so i could maybe do that

Thank you for helping. I'm just realli stressed right now, i was on a night shift last night so now when everyone is in bed i'm wide awake and am just sat on my own.

Thank you

Katiee · 29-06-2009, 02:41 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. 4/5 months without harming is great! Don't throw that away now, use distracions sweetie. You can get through this. Do you have anyone to support you right now? I'm always here if you wanna talk. xo.

Grunge Rock Princess · 29-06-2009, 02:27 PM

Hi thanks i did some picture puzzles last night to keep me distracted and i emailed my bf and he had replied by the time i got up so feeling a lot better today. Thanks for all the support guys :) *hugs*