Sex *adult, to state the obvious*

[Hiccup]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place. I wasn't sure where to put it.

I have created a different account to ask and talk about more personal things where I don't want people to know who I am.

Okay. This is embarrassing. I can only have an orgasm if I am alone. I cannot do it infront of other people. My partner finds this hard as she thinks it is because I do not find her attractive. I do, and I do want to have sex with her but for some reason I cannot do it. it feels so incredibly intimate and personal and like I would be totally letting me guard down and feel completely out of control and vulnerable. (& god forbid she sees my 'come face' haha!) I want to be normal but I don't know what to do. if we are having phone sex i can do it then but I cannot in person. I still have this thing where I feel that sex is dirty and wrong.

That was embarrassing.

Thank you for any insights and suggestions.

[sherlock holmes]

It sounds perfectly understandable, because orgasming is all about letting your guard down! The first time I had sex with my partner I felt anxious about him seeing me naked and if he'd laugh or point out my come face. But really when we have sex none of that matters. Everyone makes a kind of a face when they come, but that's part of the sex! I think it's attractive.

Can you try doing other sexual things with your partner to feel more relaxed? Maybe if you take orgasms out of the equation you'd not feel so self conscious, and you can spend time with her being intimate and building up your confidence.

[Hiccup]

Thanks for replying. i'd like to do that but i still feel like sex should be about an orgasm. i do trust her. i trust her completely in away that i've never trusted anyone else before and i actually enjoy having sex! I just can't come infront of her. we do do other things like give each other massages and kiss and have showers together which is lovely, but this is missing and i want to get over it!