Adult - Falling Out Of Love or Just In A Slump?

CupsofTea · 15-04-2015, 09:34 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16; we're each others firsts in everything and recently celebrated our 7 year anniversary.

Things have been hard for us in the past but, to make a long story short, over the last few weeks I'd rather not be spending much time with him. (We do live together). Physically dislike being touched by him (this could be the ED because I've gained weight lately??) and just generally feeling rather numb with times of massive insecurities that he's going to leave.

Mental health hasn't been great lately and there is a lot of external pressures such as needing to find a new place to live, finances, family issues, etc...

There is nobody irl I can talk to about this. For those who have been in a long term relationship, how do you know if you're still in love with your other half or if you are just in a slump?

Margo · 16-04-2015, 11:21 AM

That's a really really hard question to answer. As you've mentioned, there are a lot of things going on right now and this could affect your ability to feel.

You've been together a long time. have these feelings been only recently or is this something that keeps coming up over and over again?

CupsofTea · 16-04-2015, 10:43 PM

They were pretty strong last year but that was when things were very bad between us... can't stay it happens a lot though.

effervescence · 17-04-2015, 04:32 AM

It is really hard to answer and something I think ultimately you only know yourself.

I will say that people change a LOT between the ages of 16 and 23 and that people do grow apart.

But I also know people who go married at 17/18 and are still together in their 60s. It's all so individual.

In my personal experience, I broke up with my boyfriend when I was 20, we had been together since I was 15 and although he still loved me, I knew that I'd grown up and 'away' from him.

CupsofTea · 17-04-2015, 01:59 PM

Thanks for your input guys <3

Margo · 17-04-2015, 04:03 PM

What does your heart say? If you could remove the sense of feeling rejected and the fear of being alone, what does your heart say?

Aardbei · 18-04-2015, 05:35 PM

This is a really hard question to answer. I was with my first boyfriend from the age of 14-21 and he was the one who ended it, which was horrible but ultimately the right thing as we had grown apart.

How do you feel when you imagine breaking up? Does the thought of a future with him forever make you happy?