Contains Suicide - bad thoughts/ thoughts of giving up

[zivalover16]

I'm having a really rough night tonight. It's almost 6 am and I haven't slept. The reason for this is I am is severe physical pain. I got hurt at work on Halloween and made it worse the next day. My manager got angry with me when I called and told her and asked how to fill out the new accident report sheets. I went to the ER after work that night and all they did was give me tylenol and take me x-rays. Since then I have been to a hand specialist who examined my wrist which hurt so bad I was sobbing and just told me to take tylenol and ordered and MRI. The MRI was very painful. She didn't see any cause for the swelling or pain but believes somethings is wrong so is sending me for a second opinion.
I am going to NYC Tuesday. I am afraid they are going to say there is nothing wrong or to just take tylenol ( I am allergic to anti-inflammatories). I am fed up with the pain and not being able to use my wrist due to the pain in causes. Just the thought of them telling me there is nothing they can do or telling me to just take tylenol has me planning on ending it all. I know that sounds dramatic but I can't take the pain anymore. I'm not sleeping anymore because of the pain and it's been weeks. I'm frustrated because I have a hard time doing anything. Journaling was a very helpful coping mechanism for me but I can't do that really anymore. I can't hold a water bottle and there are times when I can't hold a piece of paper.... How am I supposed to live like this. I want to make it clear that this is not me saying I am committing suicide and this is not a goodbye rant or anything like that but it's a big thought on my mind right now. I am really down right now and have no way of getting rid of the pain in my wrist

[Logarithm]

So I am guessing you're in the US, that's not really something I understand in terms of medical care but can you see a physiotherapist? I've had shitloads of injuries that have led to chronic pain over the years and usually a physio has been the only medical practitioner to be useful when hospitals and GPs weren't. Is that an option for you?

I know from experience that ongoing pain is really emotionally debilitating so don't feel silly being so upset by it, it's completely normal and understandable. This has been going on for two months almost for you so obviously it must be super frustrating and exhausting. Maybe in the meantime you could see a pharmacist and ask for a pain medication that isn't anti-inflammatory and you could see a different medical practitioner soon?