For years I have struggled with my inner identity. I was born a white female, but I have always felt like I was different, deep down inside. This feeling has been building since I can remember, and finally I have realised I can tell the world.
I am transracial. I have realised that society has been trying to push a racial identigy on me. That is solely based on my appearance, but what's inside of me is different. Very different.
This is supposed to be a progressive society, and I am underprivileged black woman. I deserve the extra points on my state achievement tests, and the extra scholarships that are awarded to people more obviously my true race.
I don't see how people can perceive my race just on how I look. People don't treat transgendered people the same. I told a close friend once and she just laughed at me like it was a joke.
Society is meant to be getting fairer and fairer. But I've never heard a single person mention my rights.
I feel like a freak and like the entire world is out to get me and to laugh at me.
have you talked with a professional about this?.... somebody who was transgendered probably would need to speak to a professional to get any accomodations and such.
i think that part of the issue may be that "transracial" is not considered an actual category, as far as i'm aware. i've never heard anybody use the term before. thats not to say that it isn't what you're experiencing, but you have to remember that many people are still getting used to the idea of LBGT issues, and asking them to understand this is something that they may not be ready for.
as for the state tests and stuff... the fact that there are extra points and such for minorities is already an issue of contention.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
No, I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I can't even try to act it.
Like last week I was talking to some fellow black people, just generally, using the same slang as they do, and then they started beating me because I said nigga.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me.
They beat me more when I told them I was black.
Why would I be joking when I'm getting beat up, they just thought I was a freak.
They hit me, pulled my hair, I got a black eye. But I'm kind of happy about it, it makes me look more natural like I should be.
Since when has being trans-anything been an excuse to bully and beat people up?
people might find it hard when you use certain slang....because the only reason they use that slang is to counteract racism they have received because of their colour, so they might find it hard to understand you using it, since you would have never experienced that racism. i'm an ethnic minority, and personally i would be upset if a white person used derogatory slang towards me.
but having said that, i can understand your confusion. i grew up around white people, and i'm not at all religious, and it drives me mental when people automatically assume i must be a certain way, or a certain religion because of my skin colour. i agree with others, it might help to talk to someone about this.
I really do think the best thing you can do for yourself is to speak to a professional about this. It sounds like you're getting yourself into dangerous situations with this at the moment and it might be wise to work with someone who can help you explore these feelings, and also acknowledge the way society acts at the moment in attempts to keep yourself safe. For instance, although you feel of a different race to the one on your skin, many people will not understand that. This may be something a psychologist could help you process and find effective ways of dealing with.
