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Graphic - Need advice handling sexual harassment problem
*I don’t know if this should be considered "Graphic" but I don't want to unintentionally trigger anyone.
I’m out of town attending a family wedding. I already feel awkward because of tension between my aunts and I. Two of them are not talking to me… or maybe I’m not talking to them. I can’t really tell any more (laughs). That is a whole other story, I’m just trying to set the scene. Meanwhile, there is a family friend at the same hotel as us. My mom and her siblings have known him since high school. Think of him as the “cool” guy who wears his shirt unbuttoned at the collar and gold chain necklaces, but lives in the middle of suburbia and is in his 60’s. He always gave me the creeps. His hugs were slightly too long and lingering.
Now I am an adult and his hugs are most definitely too long and lingering. For example, at my grandmother’s funeral this summer he rubbed my lower back brushing the top of my butt for too long to be anything but deliberate. He grabbed my hand for an impromptu prayer at dinner once and refused to let go after I tried to pull it away and told him repeatedly to let go. My family ignored the situation. A few days ago he cornered me into a hug and rubbed my back, focusing on my bra clasp.
I feel like setting him down only causes him to target me more. My mother told me to just avoid him but then she got mad at me when I refused to eat out with them last night. That party included the man in question along with the aunts that don’t talk to me. My mom is also frustrated with me that I won’t participate in other group activities. How am I to avoid him if I go out with him, I wonder? It’s not like I ever go out of my way to chat him up. He comes to me and corners me either physically or with him knowing that I won’t make a scene.
I don’t know what to do. His actions walk the line. If he pinched my butt I could slap him, but as it is, he can claim it’s all a misunderstanding. I don’t feel that I will get family support. To be honest, people don’t like acknowledging or facing things like this. It makes them uncomfortable. It’s easier to pretend that I’m being melodramatic.
I feel like the only way I’ll get him to stop will be by publicly dressing him down in a way that will cause him some humiliation. I’m not sure I should take that step. My relationship with my family is already strained. I don’t want to make a scene at the wedding.
I’m looking for some suggestions on how to handle this situation. Maybe I’m looking at the problem from the wrong angle.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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