Graphic - Wanting to live, but wanting to die.

RinaKat · 15-09-2014, 02:41 AM

I want to live and have a beautiful life, but I don't see me ever achieving that. I just want to die. I feel like I'm never good enough and can get things right. I try to tell myself and talk myself out of doing it I'm scared. I've OD'ed in the past and had to get my stomach pumped which wasn't fun. I'm trying to make it to my therapy appointments and doctor appointment. I have two plans of killing myself. I really want to act on in and then I would have this to deal with anymore. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is my family, they would me so sad and I don't know how I could write a letter to them that would show how sorry I was. I've been having these thoughts for a long time and I feel like I need to act on them. I tried cutting, that usually helps, but it didn't I just want to cut more. I scare myself sometimes. I don't think I want to live on anymore...

lord of luck · 15-09-2014, 03:33 AM

I'm so sorry you're going thru this right now. Suicidal urges can get really hard to deal with. Have you been able to talk to someone about them ("real" people?), because that might help the urges get a little less strong! I wouldn't recommend cutting if you just want to cut more. that could get dangerous.

why don't you want to live? usually that question helps us unearth some issues that therapists and friends can help us work thru. <3
hope you're ok. feel free to pm me!
-brynn

havealittlefaith · 15-09-2014, 08:30 AM

Hey ,

I'm sorry your feeling like this , I dont know if it would jelpmor not but theres actually a book called how to stay alive when my. Brain was trying to kill me , I'm currently reading it and finding it a great help it has tips on bow to fight back and coping ways maybe look it up and see if it's for you

Hugs stay strong x

volleyballgirl35714 · 15-09-2014, 08:32 AM

I'm sorry your feeling this way if you ever need someone I'm here for you. You can pm me or email me. Hugs

RinaKat · 16-09-2014, 11:44 PM

Well, I'm still here. I saw my therapist today and he has sent in the paperwork for me to go into a treatment place. Maybe this will work and I'll get better. I battle with wanting to kill myself and I don't know why I want to die because I don't want to die I just want to be better and this to be over. My cutting is the biggest problem I have. That's for the hugs and support.