A lil Support?

[UnanimousAnonymous]

erm, i dont know if this is the right place to post...theres a whole mix of things that are bothering me so i cant place it in a certain 'catergory'. This may be long and rantish too so please bear with me and im sorry if it doesnt make sense.

See the thing is i moved here to my dads from my mums because of family problems, ive been here for the past 4months roughly and although things are ok with my dad, its my grandparents that i cant seem to deal with.
They live like 2 minutes down the road, we have to go there every week for a dinner and stay for a while after and sometimes we have to go on a sunday afternoon just to keep my nan happy.
Its during this time though that my nan decides to make comments about things that she knows will bother me...she keeps going on about my elder brothers [thy dont have any contact with my dads side of the family anymore, it was their choice not my dads] but my nan still brings it up every now and then [which is hard for me and my dad]-she says its because of my stepfather and my mum, they 'brain washed them'.

She still slags off my mum even though my parents have been divorced 11years. A few weeks ago i went to talk to her about my dads gambling and some how she got onto my mum and was calling her a bitch and said she would knock her out anyday. My mum is in a bad way with her back and is registered disabled and my nan calls her a hypocondriac...i know this may all sound petty but when your sitting there listening to this its really distressing.

I mean, its been 11years, it was 2days after my 7th Birthday that they split, i have gotten over it. Why cant she let it go?
I remember her calling and shouting at my mum down the phone, my grandad threatening to kill my mum on our front doorstep, they followed us and reported my mum for things she didnt do...they've made not only mym mums life hell but mine and my brothers too and are still continuing to do so and im scared to say anything because of their behaviour in the past. My mum seperated from my dad for a very good reason and he even admits that.
Im just so confused and upset right now.

Sorry if this is all a ramble x

[raistlin]

Awh. That's horrible that they keep bringing up stuff that upsets you. Is there anyway you and your dad can sit down and try to explain to them that talking about it like that is not going to help and it just hurts both of you. What they are saying is really messed up and I understand why you are confused. *hugs* I am sorry you are having to deal with that. Let us know how you are doing.

[svenn]

that's not right of her to put all of that on you. those are her issues. if it were me, i'd sit down with her and explain to her that she is talking about my mother and brothers. these are people that i love and if she cannot say anything nice about them then she should not say anything at all. she is my nan and i love her as well and i would not tolerate anyone talking about her like that either. if said in a nice but form way she would probably not say anyting more. she probably does not know it bothers you at all.

[Tears and Rain]

It's not fair for them to be bringing up this stuff to you knowingly. Maybe they don't realise quite how much it bothers you? I guess they're always gonig to take their son's view point and think it's your mum's fault because he is thier son, but they have to be made to open their eyes and see that this might not be the case.
The only way they're going to be able to do that is though, if you or your dad tell them. Maybe try talking to your dad and ask him to talk to them with your or for you? And let him know that yes it does hurt you when they say what not. Let him know it's bothering you.

I guess ultimately they will have seen the hurt their sun went through in the break up and automatically think the person who caused it was in the wrong and resent that. It's also sometimes seen that it's the grandparents that are the ones to hold grudges quite alot, and quite well. Just try and make them see that it's not the case I guess? Good luck and stuff x