Ok, this might be reeeeally stupid, but does anyone else find it a little irritating when people say you seem much better?
Obviously its a good thing, because it means i'm acting/looking much more normal..lol.. but its like yes the meds have calmed down my odd behaviours and incredible anxiety, but it my head, there's still so much going on. The voice is still there. They're still trying to get me to hurt/kill myself. I'm still not sure who is listening to and control my thoughts. but because i'm not all twitchy anymore, i'm 'better'...
I'm having problems taking the damn meds aswell, because i'm not convinced they arent just there to make me forget they're listening - maybe they just want me to forget - its not illness so i cant get better? I have more control in that i'm not hurting myself, but i have less control in that the reason i'm not hurting myself is because i think she'd take control if i had a blade in my hand (think i've posted this stuff before so sorry)
I'm lying because i can think clearly enough to know what to say to get people off my back, and i know thats not good, but it's hard not to do, when you're so uncomfortable and tired of talking. But i know that deep down i DO want to talk about what they're doing to me because it scares me, but i'm naturally pushing people away because i dont know who i can trust and that's the way i am. Any advice?
that turned into more than i intended..lol...
basically just the first question.... dont know why i rambled on after that but it was good to get it down so sorry if you've read it and suffered..lol!!
*big hugs*
I can completley relate hun, for me its beccause when people say it I feel thier assmuming i'm not still struggling (when i am) and that all my sturggles have suddenley dissappeared over night.
Meds can be really helpful though and you could feel alot worse without em sweetie. I rly think you talk to thr dr who give you this meds and explain this to them.
*more hugs*
xxx
Last edited by Ranger Fairy : 30-05-2009 at 06:32 PM.
Reason: missing word
*hugs*
i feel exactly the same!!! it really annoys me how people think cuz u 'look' better then you are!! there is so much more than just the outside!!
grrr
I know what you mean, I don't remember ever feeling as bad as I do now yet people keep telling me that I look well. It's hard when you don't feel great but people don't take you seriously because you look ok. Take care.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Hey, I can relate to this quite alot, my mum keeps going on about how much 'better' I am now and how I must be feeling alot better.
And although I am better in some senses (like the damaging behaviours have gone) the thoughts are still there at times, the anxiety is getting worse and I'm tearful over stuff thats stupid (like I cry if I see something cute on TV lol)
So yeah I understand how annoying it is.
But like Chaotic resolve said, If your not even a little honest with people about how you feel they will make assumptions.
Look after yourself.
Leighxxx
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
i dont know if i find it irritating...i think it makes me sad more than anything else. i often think many people believe what they want to and people want u to get better and to stop you hurting so they will pick up anything that makes you appear better
i think the most important thing is to let people know that you arent better and that things are still bad. the worst thing to do is lie about it and slowly get worse while everyone thinks your ok, im a culprit of doing that
its odd, i alwas seem to appear 'better' when im at my worst
take care
xxxx
can completely relate to this hun. I hate it when people say this so much, esp when they say it when you are really struggling deep inside:(
please hang in there hun and keep your head held high, things will be better one day and when people say you look better... it will really be the truth!
*hugs*
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
my nurse is the worst. and when people say "you've done so well lateley" and you dont want to turn around and say "well ive cme close to killing myself at least 3 times"!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrr grr
Personally I think it's a positive if someone says you are seeming better. Even if you are feeling low inside. For example I've stopped self-harming, I still really struggle not to sometimes, but I have managed to control my urges. So whilst I still might be struggling mentally I must be at least a bit better because I am controlling my urges whereas in the past I couldn't. I also think people aren't good at recognising there own ahcievements, especially when it comes to mental illness, even if you are putting on an act of being ok, well you must be better than in the past when you couldn't put on that act. Sometimes acting as if you are ok is the step towards being ok, if you let yourself not get dressed, avoid people, sit in a dark room all the time chances are you will feel worse. However if you wash,dress, make the effort to get out and about seeing people I believe that it is a step to getting better, sort of like the actions of normality can be a precursor to the feelings.
Thanks guys, its nice to know i'm not alone. I know it IS positive - i am aware of that aspect too, it's just sometimes it feels like people are just kinda saying 'your fixed, done with that now', especially if someone says it when you've just described how bad your feeling - it can feel like a bit of a 'stop moaning'. And i know that i'm a bit better - i'm not denying that, before i was struggling to string together a sentence - and in the sense i can put on the act, but it sometimes feels as though people assume i'm 'all better'. It's people like my mum who think that taking the pills, go to a couple of appointments, then your fixed, just like that.
i think people like ur mum just want you to be better, and want you to stop hurting, but also may not have a complete understanding of what you're going through and so think its something that can be 'fixed' just like that. and maybe they want you to get better so they hope u can get better just like that. i hope im making some kind of sense here, sorry if im not
take care
xxxx
I can understand what you mean, I've been facing a similiar situation. I've been taking meds for depression, and everyone is telling me they see a difference, but I don't always feel as much better as they seem to think that I am feeling. But I guess that in their own way, they mean it as a good thing. I think that a lot of times people such as your family will tell you that they see a difference, both to encourage you and to make themselves believe it. Also, even if the feelings are still going on in your head, if people say that they see a difference, it could be that while you still have those feelings occasionally, you've been doing a better job of being able to control them, which can definitely be improvement.
