I've noticed in the past few months a few parents have found their way onto the site and have been asking for support and ideas/suggestions on how to cope with their children self harming. ANd I was wondering if maybe a little kit of some sort could be put together? With like suggestions on how to approach their child, ways to cope themselves, people they can contact for support, things not to do when they find out, etc.
I know there are some parents on here who do self harm but I think (correct me if i'm wrong) that it's different when you find out your child is a self harmer.
So yeah, I was just wondering if something like that would be possible? Maybe a sticky thread or something?
Or maybe there is something like that up already and i'm just stupid and don't know about it :P
But I think it would be really helpful for those parents who find their way to us to have a whole bunch of info that they can use to make their next decisions and stuff.
What do peope think?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Yeah. See I didn't know that was there and i don't know how many others are aware of it either. Could it maybe be stickied or something in the general support and advice board? There is currently a thread there by a mother who's found out her son harms. Also could there be stuff added like how to approach the child about the self harm and stuff?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I didn't think to look there :P And I guess parents who are pretty worried and scared aren't going to look there either. But if it's on the actual forum or people know about the info on the main site, then they can direct the parents to it.
Maybe some advice on how to approach your child when you think they're self harming. That's all that comes to mind right now, but other people might have other ideas
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I scanned the link that Erin posted, I'm supposed to be revising and didn't have time to read it properly
But anyway, to the point. It might be useful to include information on how the parent/carer/etc. can look after themselves whilst getting used to the fact that their loved one is self harming so that things don't get too much for them. Also, links to Counselling services, Samaritans, other useful groups in the UK, US, Australia and wherever else might be necessary.
How about if the info from that link was put into a Sticky Thread...then the information is there and parents are able to discuss in one place their feelings, attempts at talking to their children, personal experiences and so on?
xxx
I think its a good idea but Im still under the impression that 60%+ of RYL dont bother to read stickies, so i dont see the point of it being a sticky lol
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I think that it's probably fine where it is, but perhaps it would help if people were more aware. If people that do know about this resource linked others to it, then it would help a lot I think. I'm not making myself clear :p
Okay, say someone is a parent who has come here to find out more information, and posts a thread, anyone could easily post the link to the article on the thread, which means it doesn't need to be in a sticky. I worry about having too many stickies cause it means threads get pushed off the first page quicker, and 99% of the time, once a thread is off the first page it dies.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I agree with Erin on this one. The only way to get people to actually use the main site more is if we stop posting everything as stickies in the forums and make people actually utilize the site and all the information on it. Plus I doubt it would be any more visible as a sticky.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
And once/if the CT can get a site map up that will make the stickies like that pointless as people will be able to use the site map to find articles or whatever they are after on the main site.
It would have been useful to have a parent link somewhere obvious on the site (for us technophobes) and it's taking me a while to learn how to use this site.
And it would be good to have other parents to talk to. I have become aware of triggers since I joined and it makes me careful about what I post. I would hate to be the cause by posting unsuitable. A parent area where we can be open without the worry of upsetting someone who SIs would be really useful.
That said, the advice given to me by people who also SI has already given me a greater insight into it, only those who experience it can really say what it's like, and it's been more helpful than I can say.
Just for future reference, the link can be found at the top of the page. If you hover your mouse over the [Advice] button a drop down menu appears. The article is in there.
I'm really glad that being here has given you more insight. I think it's incredibly admirable that you are trying to learn more about it all. The article is a good resource, but experience is the best teacher. Listening to peoples stories and their own experiences gives a much greater insight.
I don't know about the parents area though. How many parents of SHers are there on RYL? It's a great idea, but would it be used enough? I dunno. I'm just thinking out loud now :p
You could also have a go at posting in vets, although there arent many parents of self harmers there, there are parents there who may be able to help :) xx
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Am I dreaming or weren't there plans to create a website for the family and friends of self-harmers? It was to be called Sharpp or something like that.
There was Crys, but I think it's been put on the wayside for a while.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
