I havent posted on here before. So im sorry if i waste peoples time.
Basically i think im getting emotionally abused by my mum. I somtimes get hit by my dad as well. Its not everyday all the time though. My mates are saying i need to tell sumone. But i dont know wether im just being dramatic or it is really bad.
I havent got a clue wether im making things out worse than they are or im blaming myself or anything.
I dont know what to do
Any help?
don't feel bad posting here, you're wasting no-one's time
I've tried to find some concise lists of what constitutes as physical or emotional abuse... not done well lol
but I did find:
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Quote:
What is Emotional Abuse?
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching", or "advice," the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting that physical ones. Types of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse can take many forms. Three general patterns of abusive behavior include aggressing, denying, and minimizing. Aggressing
Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy adult relationships. This parent-child pattern of communication (which is common to all forms of verbal abuse) is most obvious when the abuser takes an aggressive stance.
Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised and "helping." Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, proving, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental "I know best" tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.
Denying
Invalidating seeks to distort or undermine the recipient's perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the recipient confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about," etc.
Withholding is another form of denying, Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment."
Countering occurs when the abuser views the recipient as an extension of themselves and denies any viewpoints or feelings which differ from their own.
Minimizing
Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. When minimizing, the abuser may not deny that a particular event occurred, but they question the recipient's emotional experience or reaction to an event. Statements such as "You're too sensitive," "You're exaggerating," or "You're blowing this out of proportion" all suggest that the recipient's emotions and perceptions are faulty and not be trusted.
Trivializing, which occurs when the abuser suggests that what you have done or communicated is inconsequential or unimportant, is a more subtle form of minimizing.
but in reality... the exact definition is less important than how it's effecting you... have you spoken to your parents about this? or to anyone else (bar your friends obviously as you mentioned them already)
Ive told my aunties and they just keep saying my mum is sick in the head and needs a straight jacket (exact words) and my dads under stress and dosent mean to hit me its just the stress.
My dad knows me and my mum dont get on and its at a point where we fight almost everyday but he takes her side on things. And when my dads hitting me my mum says its my fault i shouldnt have got him wound up.
:(
I get called every name under the sun espically stupid.
I get told im a drama queen.
My mum denies she says horrible things.
My mum dosent listen to me.
She ingores me when i aks her a question.
She causes arguments.
I want to get away from it but i want to be sure im not blowing things outta propotions. Like if i say im getting emotionally abused and phyciially and no-one believes me then my mum and dad will hate me more.
hmm... well I think that you could do with some time away from it all... not only to think it through away from the situration, but also just some time out for you...
would you be able to stay with a relative for a bit? make up some sort of excuse
Nope. See this is the thing. I need to get away from it but im not allowed. So how the hell am i meant to think about things :'(
My mum and dad say im always cheeky and horrible.
But when i stay at our emmas or go to sumones house people always say how polite i am.
:S
