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Lil advice?
Hi,
So i finally bit the bullett and spoke to my doctor about my SI and my mental state. He told me i was depressed but because i was doing well recovering by myself that there wasn't much i could do.
I had two appointments with him but i cancelled the second because i was feeling so much better. That was back in october. Sadly things fell apart, i relapsed but in february i managed to pull myself up and back to reality.
It'll be four months on tuesday since my last cut, but recently i've noticed a few behavial things... I go from extreme highs to extreme lows, participate and do things that are out of character, cause suspicion amongst my friends who are like 'who are you and what have you done with dani?' and am generally not myself.
I float between sleeping and not sleeping, my concerntration is poor and the severity of the switches in my moods are actually starting to scare me. One minute feeling on top of the world and then in a split second; scanning the nearby ditches to crash my scooter wondering how long it'll take for me to die or for someone to find me.
I can't pluck up that original courage to talk to my doctor nor any other doctor; they all scare me. I'm struggling as to what to do.
Has anyone got any advice as to what could be wrong or what i could do about this?
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