Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Post traumatic stress? scared

[bright.side.of.life]

i dont use this thread, well, ever, so im sorry if this is labelled wrong...

in december i was in an abusive relationship and he beat me a few times and tried to rape me once, and succeeded in the end. it was back in december so i feel a bit silly raising it, but at the time yer it upset me and all but i just pretended it didnt happen. and all was dandy and great.

but i got a sports injury to my ribs last week and bruised them all, and for some reason i think its triggered something off. since then ive been having scary flashbacks and surges of emotion that make me feel like im there again and vulnerable. ive also had nightmares that have stopped me sleeping.

its really scaring me and i just wondered, is this post traumatic stress? or am i just being pathetic? it was so long ago it doesnt matter, i know im safe now i only even see him in public and thats really rarely. i have a loving boyfriend now but im still freaking out about it. i know im safe. i keep reminding myself of it but it doesnt seem to sink in. since these flashbacks and things im starting to worry about things like intimacy with my boyfriend too, i freaked out when we first started dating becuase of it but it soon went away, and that was when i wasnt having these flashbacks etc.

i talked to my teacher about it yesterday, the first person other than my boyfriend that knows about it. and he knows more than my bf does now. it was really scary but actually helped quite a lot. but im just scared constantly. like my friend came up behind me today at college and poked my sides to make me jump and i completely freaked out.

ive got exams in the next few weeks and the lack of sleep plus the flashbacks and fear are really not helping me revise. i need to get over this is just dont know how... any ideas?

thanks, sorry that was a bit of a long rant more than anything... and sorry if its labelled wrong...

X row X

[bobbiwibble]

it could well be post traumatic stress.. it isnt melodramatic at all and the time difference doesnt matter at all.. I know a lot of people who have carried on for over a year after stuff like that before they actually had any problems - myself included.
you should try and get some help for that as it may start to interfere more and more with exams and your life in general. I know you may feel like GP/ therapy/ that whole thing will just jeopardise your exams etc even more but there will probably be a delay anyway so it is best to get your name on a waiting list.

also maybe talk to your boyfriend about this, if you havent already. that may sound like an insanely bad idea to you - it did to me :P - but now youre getting flashbacks and stuff, doing stuff with him might be hard and if he doesnt know the reason it will almost certainly cause tension and he might just blame himself..

sorry, this is probably almost as long as your post itself :P
PM me if you need to talk about anything
xxxxxxxbobbi

[bright.side.of.life]

yer i am already on a waiting list for referal to a psychiatrist about my ED so i wasnt sure if i should wait for that or try again...?

my boyfriend knows some of it, he knows about a small extent of the physical abuse and he knows i slept with him and that i didnt really want to, but when i told him i was having flashbacks he told me not to dwell on it as i was safe now. which didnt really help and i didnt see much use in telling him.

im meant to be going to his tonight and im actually quite anxious about it, its silly really. it will probs be fine. but if its not then....

[bobbiwibble]

my boyfriend is constantly saying 'don't think about it you're safe now'
it isn't very helpful but then of course he has no idea what to say.. why would he?

i would get further help for this, because it's very different. it might help to talk about it in ED therapy as it may be a contributing factor, but they would most likely then refer you to somebody else and it would just take longer.
If it doesnt go well tonight, if you get really scared or anxious, then to be honest I think you should tell him :) it can't do any harm (it might be painful to tell him but that would be therapeutic anyway) and it might do some good
xxxxbobbi

[shadow-light]

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=77244 is a thead with tips on about dealing with flashbacks, there are also a lot of "bum" posts but just ignore them lol

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ght=sleep+tips is a thread on sleeping tips

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ght=sleep+tips is one on nightmares



you're not being malodramatic.