Triggering (SI) - Meh

[Ragdoll]

Sorry guys this probably isn't a nice post to read, so if you're triggery then please don't read it.

I have a 'fantasy' I guess you'd call it, at the moment, about breaking my foot with a hammer and saying I just fell down the stairs.

That's it really, it just keeps coming back to me.

[bleedingdragon]

Hey Hugs,
I hear you about wanting to break your foot with the hammer and saying you fell down stairs.
Hugs,
do you feel people around you dont listen to you enough, or care about you enough. Doing this would get you attention , but for the wrong reasons.
hurting yourself in this way isnt good please dont do it.
i know its easier said than done.
please i really hope you dont do this, i know it can be frightening to
have these thoughts this fantasy, in your head. You have to keep distracting yourself .

Keep posting and expressing your feelings and i hope it helps you to
turn this around for yourself
we are here for you
hugs

Dave

[Ragdoll]

Thanks Dave. I've just bsplit up with my fiancee and feel I need to harm but in a way I can explain away, cos I dont want him to think "oh I left her and she's cutting herself up". I need that pain and that hurt to concentrate on but I need people to believe it was an accident.

[slipping up again]

Hi,
sorry you're feeling so bad.you must be going through a really tough time at the moment.is there anyone you could talk to about how you're feeling rather than causing yourself so much harm.

take care Xx

[pea soup]

im going to pm you.
much love.
xx

[Bitter_Angel]

I can understand the whole fantasy thing. I get them often. Is there anyway you can do some damage reduction instead? You say you want the focus of pain, how about holding ice, or even holding ice to your foot therefore causing the pain but not the damage?
Distraction is also a good way to deal with things. Perhap try the arcade.
Do you have somebody you can talk about these issues with? A close friend perhaps?

Take care
Kim

[Merc]

Kim has some great suggestions, i hope the help. I just wanted to say you arent alone in this, i often tried to do my hand with a hammer. PLs try not to, try as kim suggested. and pls keep talking to oppl, do you have a doc etc you can talk to? Might be a good idea to find some sort of support for you for right now.
Im sorry things are so bad
pm if you like ok?
pls try to keep safe
romp

[Ragdoll]

Thanks guys.

I know that when I was with Kyle I was too dependent on him and I need to learn to look after myself, but right now all I need is for him to hold me and I can't have that. Not that I could have it if I hurt myself, but at least I'd have something I could take care of myself