i feel so desgusting
so icky
so yucky
like nothing i do will get rid of it
im dirty
im a whore
a slut
and nothing i do will ever change that
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last night that flashbacks just took over.
i couldnt move
i just laid in bed
crying
begging him to stop
he wouldnt
i could feel him thrusting
his "thing" inside me
it was terrible
it took so long for him to finish
when he finshed
i felt his "thing" pulsate
it was horrible
i wanted to wash myself with bleach
but i just couldnt move
im desgusting
why cant i just be good?
im sorry for posting again its just the last couple of days have been really rough
You are not disgusting
You are not dirty
You are not a whore or a slut
and all you need to change is the way you are thinking!
You are a very strong, very hurt person, and you are trying to blame it on yourself, and it ISN'T your fault! I PROMISE YOU!
I'm sorry to hear the last couple of days have been rough, But you've got to believe that you have done nothing wrong, HE is the bad person in this situation ok?
PM me anytime, I understand how you are feeling because it's the way I sometimes feel! *hugs*
xx
i just wish i could make it all go away!!!!!!!!
i really cant do this anymore!!!!!!!!!
i get paranoid hes following me well they are
im constantly looking over my shoulder
its stupid
i mean right now im thinking well what if hes waiting out side for me
im soooo scared
or EVERYTHING
i upset a good mate of mine
cos i was too scared to hug him
i went out with that mate
and the worst thing
he was understanding which made me feel guilty
i just cant do this anymore
I am sure that you are none of these things, you have been hurt and it's bound to affect you and the way you precise yourself. but you are safe, these things are past, bad, scary and painful, but past. and these thingss that happened reflect in no way on you, they didn't make you bad, they didn;t happen because you're bad, they just happened, because the people who did this is bad not you, they are disgusting, not you... what they did makes them bad, it does nothing to what you are or ever where...
I'm glad you keep posting honey :) this site isn't about formalities or waiting your turn - if you need help, ask for it!!
you are so good and SO brave and Sam is right - the only thing you've done wrong is to blame yourself for what horrible horrible do to people who don't deserve it
you know where I am if you need me
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbobbi
I know you just want it to all go away... I'm in a similar place right now... but really, they won't last forever, you did nothing to deserve any of this. it's awful that you are being punished for the crimes of others, but unfortunately that sometimes how the world works, it doesn't mean that you're bad, just that the world isn't always fair
