Triggering (Suicide) - My parents & family.

Diamonds. · 14-05-2009, 08:56 PM

Ok, so, im sick and tired of my parents and family. Completely and utterly sick. I can't help thinking they look down at me and hate me.
I rang my parents tonight to see where they where, so i could get in the house. My little sister picked up the phone and i asked her where she was and she replied "Im at the roundel (a pub close to us) with mammy and daddy". I didn't clock on at first. I wasen't arsed much. I though ok, they're just out enjoying a meal.
But when i look at it, i think, they go out every ****ing time im not there! You wait till i go to liams and go out. Thats a total and utter piss take tbh.
I'm totally not the favourite since my little sister came along, they don't treat me to anything or so me half as much love as they do to her! I know they shouldn't have to treat me because im 19 years old. But they could at least act like they love me.

My nan and grandad are EXACTLY the same. My nan just calls me names and picks at every little thing about me ALL the time. She calls me double chin and calls me fat. I hate it, it makes me cringe and really upsets me.
And as for my grandad, i dont know how i can call him grandad. He isn't even a grandad. He totally loves my cousin Thomas & little sister more. He licks my cousin's arse. IT TOTALLY ANNOYS ME.

Then they have the cheek to say "You don't make an effort to come see us". You wonder ****ing why!! Your horrible people. Who upset me and call me all the time. I hate you all. I hate all my family. They dont give a ****. I think its because of all my problems. The fact im schizophrenic, i self harm and that im depressed nearly 24/7.

Im sure it's because im different, because im not perfect. Because i don't do everything they tell me. All my family want control over me, control over the way i dress, speak, sleep, eat, and what i do.

I want to get out, i can see the only option of getting out is dying.

I HATE THEM ALL!!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

plastic rose · 14-05-2009, 10:11 PM

I completely understand being frustrated by your family. I grew up with a brother with a disability so he often got all the attention and it's definitely had an effect on me. I especially know how it feels to feel like the less important child. But your mum and dad aren't doing it on purpose, they're probably not even aware of it.

It sounds like when you calm down you need to talk to your parents about how you feel. Just calmly explain how you feel, and try not to use blaming language like "you always do x and it's not fair!", instead say "when you do x, it makes me feel y." As for your grandparents, well, unfortunately we can't choose our families and sometimes family members can be abusive. In which case, explain it to your mum or dad, and avoid them if necessary. It's important to look after yourself first.

You're probably a lot more loved and cherished than you realise, they probably just want you to have some freedom and independence and they don't realise it's making you upset.