I need some advice. *may be triggering*

[edizzle.]

So I've struggled with depression for quite some time. I've been on and off meds for a couple years. I'm not on any now and do not wish to be. But recently I hit rock bottom and now I am just trying to pick up the pieces. I need to talk to someone. But I don't think that just talking to someone is going to help me. It never really has. Even when I wanted help. I honestly think that I need to be hospitalized. But I'm scared. I don't want to be there but if I don't, nothing is going to be resolved. So my question is, do I have to be suicidal to be hospitalized? Because I'm not so much "suicidal" but I have a really hard time dealing with my emotions. The only way I can learn to deal with them is if I get away from everyone and everything.

I live in the U.S.

Thanks,
Erin.

[sherlock holmes]

Well in the UK you dont have to be suicidal to be hospitalised, but hospital is always a last resort.

You should talk to your doctor about the option of going into hospital.

[plastic rose]

I would think that it would depend on your insurance coverage. Usually if a doctor decides that you really have to go into hospital, the insurance company will pay, but sometimes they won't pay for you to be there for very long which means you have to leave before you're ready. But a psychiatrist is the only person who can decide if hospital is the best place for you.

I know that it might sound ideal to be in a psychiatric hospital when you want to escape from the world but it can be a very difficult experience as well. When I was in hospital for two weeks, I liked the fact that everybody knew I was ill and nobody expected too much of me, but you get very little privacy. I had people checking on me every 15 minutes, I wasn't allowed to lock my door, including the bathroom door, and I really wanted to just go home by the end of it.

It sounds to me like you're idealising the idea of hospital. There are lots of ways for you to learn to cope with your emotions without doing that. But ultimately a doctor has to decide so that's the next step you have to take.

[edizzle.]

I've been hospitalized three times. I hated it but I liked that fact that I was away from everything where I could really be selfish and focus on ME. I just don't know what else to do.. I'm desperate to learn to deal. I don't want to hurt anymore because I can't deal with them. I don't want to have breakdowns because I subconsciously bottle everything up. I'm just at my wits end.

[yakerdeets]

well when i cut myself real bad one time i had to go to the hospital and i wanted to be admitted because i felt like i was out of my mind and that i was not safe. they kept asking me if i wanted to kill myself and i said no i just cut and they kept asking me (for i saw like 5 docs that day) and i said no and they sent me home wrapped up and recommened me to another doctor for help and said i didnt need to be admitted..... so that is my experience with that i hope that helps.

[plastic rose]

You can learn to deal with this. I guess the only way to find out if you'll be admitted is to talk to your doctor. Do you have a therapist at the moment? If not then it sounds like you definitely need to find one. Also, see if there are any local support groups for people with depression and other problems in your area. Support groups and group therapy might sound really scary, but once you get comfortable with the people, it helps so much to be able to unload your feelings and know that you're not alone, that other people feel exactly the same way.

[roiben]

Have you considered therapy, such as CBT or DBT?

[edizzle.]

I have to find one. But it just sucks because my insurance runs out in September so I don't have much time.