Just before the thread in General Chat that Aidey started about looking for advice, etc. was closed, I made a suggestion. And yes, I am devoting a whole thread to said suggestion.
On another forum I use, there is a rule (or maybe not rule... strongly enforced suggestion?) that you please state what you are looking for in your support thread when you post it. Be it advice, being able to get something off your chest, a hug/emotional support, etc. or even just saying "I don't know, I just needed to say this".
Maybe we could implement that kind of rule here on RYL? It would be a great help to those supporting on the boards, as it would be clear what is being asked of them, and those posting threads in support forums would be able to get what they need.
I can see why it would be useful,but then if people can still say 'well i dont know what i want' then i dont see how its much different, if that makes sense?
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
it makes sense as a rule, and i think a lot of people already do this.
Also, the divide in areas of the board help.. With general support and advice, well, people post there because thats what theyre after, where as if they post in r&v theyre not going to get anything.
Also, i think if someone isnt clear in their first post, often people ask what the actual problem is and get a response after that.
Its very annoying when people post threads in serious that are essentially rants, but they do tend to end up in some kind of support giving.
Also, often if people dont want much, they just say 'can i have a hug or something please'
also, perhaps we run the risk of people saying 'i want ot know if i have x mental condition or y disorder.'
I do find it a lot easier to respond to threads when the OP has specified what they are looking for, be it support, advice or a particular question.
I think it would be beneficial for everyone involved if the poster were able to state what they are looking for. Obviously it makes it easier to respond, and I think it makes it easier for the OP to accept replies plus it might help them think about what they are really hoping to gain from responses.
I agree with morrigan I don't think it would be right to make it a rule because if people don't know what they want then they might not want to post because they can't think of something they want from it. Obviously its not that simple and most people won't do that but if they are already unsure about posting it might be a way of justifying not posting to themselves.
I do think it should be encouraged though because it is so much easier to reply to posts when you know what the person is looking for.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
I think it would limit the type and number of replies. I'd rather people put their own input in regardless of what I was specifically looking for, it may give me more ideas and a different perspective.
It's a good idea, but honestly, when i'm posting I really don't know what i want from it. For example if I say it's a rant, i might still secretly want a reply/hug/something as well.
My feelings and emotions do confuse me a lot though, and i realise other people mightn't be as confused as i am, so it might work for some.
I too think it's a bad idea because as others have said someone might be upset yet not able to articulate what kind of support they want. It would also put pressure on someone who is already distressed. I know it might not seem like much reading it here when people are in a bad way everything can seem to be a huge hurdle and I think it wouldn't be good to add to that.
Dont apologise Chels, hopefully people reading this will now be aware of clarifying what theyre asking for in their support threads, which can only be a good thing.
I like the idea minichels! I get frustrated when a thread title says one thing but it's about something completely different and after people reply the op says that's not what I want!
A little clarity would be nice :)
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I think that encouraging people to give what they are saying and why they are saying it some extra thought is a good thing. People may learn something about themselves.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I think that the point you are making is super duper fantastical!!
I think it should DEFINATELY be encouraged, but I'm just not sure how it would work as a rule? If people didn't know what they wanted, but didn't put 'I don't really know what I want', what would happen? Would their post be altered, would they get points? Do you get what I mean?
I think having it as something that SHOULD be done, and encouraged and enforced, in a nice way, is a really, really good idea, I'm just not sure about the rule side of things....
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
