Ok we have been discussing how RYL can be more supportive towards the male members of the site. One of the things we have been talking about is a male support thread and we wanted to get your opinions on the matter. Do you think a male support thread is a good idea? and if so where should it be posted. All opinions welcome.
Hm. I'd be very much for it - but i'm thinking of how often it would actually be used, because unless it's publisced enough then it won't get used. I also fear that support threads tend to be quite cliquey, so it might make new male members feel slightly uncomfortable when they go in there.
It's a good idea though, but i'm not sure where it would go. I mean, you'd have to consider the ages of the male population, illnesses (if any), self harm..so i'd say it would probably be more suitable to either Vets Support or the MH Forum.
I think it's a good idea but I would be worried it would get lost. There aren't many male members and my fear would be that the support wouldn't be that mcuh. But I think you should just trial it :)
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Good idea but as already said, there would have to be a way to make members aware of it. Maybe Vets wouldn't be a bad place to put it or even the self harm discussion forum?
I think its a good idea, and generally I hate the "room" type threads. I think that for certain topics an ongoing thread allows people in those situations to connect with each other. There are some groups on RYL that face additional issues because they are a "minority" per se in the SI community. (Parents, males etc).
I think it would be entierly appropriate for there to be a place for the males of RYL to discuss being a male and living with mental illness/SI/etc.
Yes, making the thread known may be an issue, but if the supporters and mods are aware of it and it's stuck somewhere prominent I think enough people will be directed there to keep it going.
Another option we have is to put a sticky in Introductions listing all the specific support threads (more to love, christian SIers, males etc) so there is a list of all of them for new people rather than them haivng to look around for them.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I think you need males for a male thread lol. Last time I ran a poll the ratio was 129 to 25 (after a whole week - and a few of those were girls). I think there is 1 on staff aside from Harley and James (some of you remember them). On any given day you might have 6 or 10 maybe? - and that might be a reach. RYL is pretty guy proof under present circumstances.
Jack - we did a little research and from what we were able to find there are about 900 people that identify themselves as male on RYL out of the 6900 or so that have chosen to identify their gender in their profile.
Not a lot, and vastly out numbered, but maybe some more will come out of the woodwork if they have a place to post?
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I'm actually torn on this one, whereas i could see the benefits in certain situations for such a thread, ie younger male members not wanting to share their views where they may perceive that they'll look bad or weak with females (Notice i say perceive) when it comes 2 male si/ or abuse, but to be honest from my own point of view i'd tend to say i don't think that we need a male only forum because i think it is important for us to remain a combined community of males and females who have mental health issues of whatever sort!
For a long time issues like male abuse and si etc were not talked about anywhere and no male would feel they could dare mention it because f what society may feel about them, in fact to be honest that perception still does exist ith many males out there, and i feel that RYL has gone a great way to tackle that by allowing male and females to express freely how they are feeling and what we can do to aid each other, so i feel that by separating to a male only forum that this could be a retrograde step for the community causing a possible polarization of the sexes and therefor in such an instance being detrimental!
Craig they are talking about a single thread, not a whole forum
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Jack - we did a little research and from what we were able to find there are about 900 people that identify themselves as male on RYL out of the 6900 or so that have chosen to identify their gender in their profile.
Not a lot, and vastly out numbered, but maybe some more will come out of the woodwork if they have a place to post?
Oh I don't doubt they join. Guys used to join a lot more back in the day - they dont stay now though. They started peeling off at end of 2006. Not that I missed all of them because RYL didn't always manage guys well and tended to let molehills grow into mountains (alas it was a young staff). However RYL can often remind me of the sound of one hand clapping.
Also - having 4 sisters I know a guy thread would never work. When girls see guys staking out there own thing they want to jack it up. Sorry ; )
Also - I a lot of guys I knew who self- injured were kind of macho about it. Burning, banging, cutting - name it they pushed to see how far they could go. Of course some guys are covert about it too but they usually seem older to me. Of course that's just an impression. No stats etc etc.
Last edited by Isoverity : 11-05-2009 at 04:03 AM.
I see the thread as a place for guys to maybe let down their macho exterior without the pressure they feel to be macho (which is often placed on them by us).
I also hope that the females on RYL would be able show enough respect to the males to leave their thread alone if one is posted.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Honestly? I don't see how it would help much. I am a girl though so maybe I don't see it. I like how people can intergrate here with little regard for female/male-ness.
But...I guess we should leave it up to the guys to vote. It would be for them after all.
I don't know, I just don't see the reason to seperate stuff? I know I'm new and all, but what does gender matter, really? I'm not trying to impress anyone here?
I also hope that the females on RYL would be able show enough respect to the males to leave their thread alone if one is posted.
That's a bloody ridiculous thing to say.
What if a "female" has some good advice to give to someone in the thread? You can't discriminate people from going to threads whether they're for men, women, or aliens. It's just wrong.
That's like saying people without BPD can't go on the BPD thread, or people without COE/BED can't go into that thread to offer support/advice.
It's wrong and i disagree with that statement completely.
I'm all for a support thread if men feel it would be beneficial, and i've always got on better with men than women - it's just my nature (and growing up surrounded by men!) and became good friends with some male friends in hospital last year - i'm not ignorant to male problems, it's no different to what women go through - depression is depression, a mental illness is a mental illness, regardless of sex / age / race.
So. No. I wouldn't stay away from the thread - that's not to say i'd be posting in there for support - i might not post in there at all, but that doesn't mean if something one of them says strikes me i won't reply.
Woah, what I said was in response to what Jack said here, it wasn't meant as an offensive statement to anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isoverity
Also - having 4 sisters I know a guy thread would never work. When girls see guys staking out there own thing they want to jack it up. Sorry ; )
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Aidey~
I also hope that the females on RYL would be able show enough respect to the males to leave their thread alone if one is posted.
That being said though, men and women aren't the same. We aren't taught to deal with problems the same, society has different expectations of us. Men are taught to be tough and hide their emotions, that it's not ok to show weakness or cry.
It has been vocalized that some of the males on RYL feel like they can't open up around women because of past experiences with females and because they feel like they are failing to be a "real man" by showing weakness around women.
I respect the fact that it can be a lot harder for guys to let down their guard because they have always been taught that they are the tough ones. Letting their guard down around other men is hard, and I respect that letting their guard down around women can be even harder.
The way I see it, if the men want a place to let down their guards in a place they feel safe, we should respect that. If a guy wants general advice they can always post another thread.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I think it is a good idea as males would have somewhere to go that hopefully they would feel comfortable with. Epecially if thy are new it could help them feel more comfortable at the start knowing they aren't so alone.
