How do you move on and recover?

[when.will.it.end]

Something happened in 2006 when I'd just turned 17 (I'm 19 now) and I didn't get help for it afterwards, not because i didn't try just because there wasn't any help available.

I had a lot of problems before it happened and of course it added to my list and I've had pretty bad PTSD since. Anyway, before this I started self harming and was suicidal and really depressed. My family are either neglectful or abusive if I'm around them and services didn't think there was anything wrong. I was really really bad for a couple of years and couldn't get out of it. I had no idea what was going on half the time and was determined that I was OK (despite overdoses, serious SH, being in hosp etc). Eventually I managed to get away from the stuff that was keeping me bad and start to clear my head.

And now I haven't self harmed for over year or taken and OD in a while, I'm in my first year of uni and generally doing much better....

I still haven't had therapy and know I need it. My question is...after the shock of everything settles down: where do you stand?

I don't want this to be a part of me or a focus of my relationships so I do my best to not think about it and I never talk about it with friends; old or new. As a result I haven't really got close to anyone this year and I miss that. But at the same time I hate the idea of me dumping my **** on them and depressing everyone's happy 19-year-old life. But I don't know who I am now all of this stuff has happened. The only close friends I have left HATE me talking about this stuff, they aren't really bothered so long as I'm alive.

Any advice? Really appreciate stories of anyone who had recovered long term.

[bobbiwibble]

I dont think there is an easy answer to this.. but in my experience after something like that it does become quite hard to get close to somebody who does not know or will not listen.
my advice is to go to your GP (if youre in england? if not then whatever the alternative is) and be completely honest with them. then they can make a decision as to what sort of therapy would benefit you the most and how fast to go. it's taken me over a year of talking to my GP and she still hasnt got the full story. when she does, thats when I'll get the help I need and so thats what I'm trying to move towards.
Thats the only advice I can offer :)
also, if you try to talk to somebody about this and they knock you back, unless theres a good genuine reason, dont try again. i have had friends who i have tried to confide in again and again and every time they turn their back on me and ignore me it crushes me. its changed me, and now ive learned not to do that. those people are very unlikely to be much help even if you can make them listen to you.

Stay safe, and strong

xxxxbobbi

[when.will.it.end]

thanks for the post. I'm already under CMHT and on a waiting list for some PTSD related therapy (although I keep asking what that actually means and no one seems to know). In my experience GP's know nothing about therapy? Actually they never seem to know anything about mental health. But at the same time i don't actually tell my GP near to anything but I feel bad because it's only supposed to be a 10 minute appointment and why would they care when I've got CMHT? I duno.

But good advice on the friend thing, I think you're right. The main friend I have wont listen when I start talking about stuff and I think the reason I'm still friends with her is because of this. If that makes sense but I really don't want that long term.

Thanks for you reply xxx

[cbtish]

The symptoms you have could be a mixture of post-trauma and other influences from your neglectful and abusive family. Effective therapy would sort out what is what, then address the root causes of your problems.

I agree with bobbi — don't give second chances to anyone who doesn't really listen to you. Make sure your GP understands in no uncertain terms that you need help and you're not getting it. You are entitled to help from any NHS Trust of your choice, not just the one where your GP happens to be, so if your local CMHT is poor, think about others you could get to.

True, most GPs know nothing about therapy, though some are OK and some are mental health specialists. There's no need to tell your whole story to your GP. Some people have to change their GP in order to get help, and some have to make formal complaints.

Most therapy in the NHS is CBT, but the name of the therapy does not matter so much as having a therapist who really understands your situation.

[bobbiwibble]

does CMHT know the truth :)
sorry, I just have a really good GP who does know stuff like that, but come to think of it most people dont seem to get the mental care they need from their local doctors surgery!

My friend had PTSD therapy that was comprised of psychotherapy and art therapy, but I think it differs between situations and boroughs

[fakesmiler]

hey im waiting 4 the referal to PTSD clinic to, like u i have no idea what im suppost to do in the long term, im lucky i have a fantasic CPN but im confused at how going to this clinic is suppose to make it better..... maybe im just being negative. I dont really have any advice as im still in the middle of it to ( im in uni as well- had the same dnt want to dump problems on the 'normal' people and uni should be about fun) a few of my housemates know I harm ect, but nothing in detail. I just wanted u 2 know i understand and we sound in preety similar situations.... im not sure what the point of me saying all this was, i just wanted 2 u feel less alone i suppose x

[silverfaerychild]

Quote:

Originally Posted by when.will.it.end

Any advice? Really appreciate stories of anyone who had recovered long term.

Alot of times people who dont suffer major depression or depression at all dont really understand that recovery of depression or anything related to depression or a traumatic event ....takes time ..sometimes it takes years

several years....

with familys who dont really care enough bout there child...it can leave a mark

to recover from SH...i dont believe in recovery...cause sometimes even though we have stopped....there could be something that triggered us so bad that we couldnt think clear enough and end up SH-ing again..

so in my thoughts bout recovery from SH is to me just "stopped" not recovered.....to actually recover from something like SH you'd have no anything no lighters no sharp objects or anything to hurt your self with and place your self around others who are positive and good for the mind set..

but Recovery takes time..months even years...or till you are in your 20's or 30' and so on

but recovery....the key to starting to move on..is accepting the problem..and not running from it...and being like

"Okay,problem...factor you have caused me alot of chaos and i am finally putting my foot down "

but with me i had a B/f that in my mind Sexually abused me

then i have a brother with Bi polar which is hard enough and even more so hard enough when he is not on meds..

and i have been bullied alot in school and i have been in and out of public school...and home schooling

and also i am gay ...and the harder thing is ..i was in denial bout liking girls and i always tried to be with a boy..but it never is the same as it with a girl...

so i wish you great luck on recovery