My friend says I have mild PTSD. I punched him (not too hard lol) and said no way because I do NOT have PTSD but...
Every time I see a police van, police man or police station, I remember my section 136 (BAD).
Every time I see a needle, I remember being restrained and forcibly sedated by injection.
I can't take jokes about psych wards or hospitals.
If I were to see blue velcro... ****.
Why am I being so stupid? Help. Its affecting me daily and makes me shudder and go silent.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I have the same thing when i see police vans or cars or police in general and go anywhere near tooting and the adolecent hospital i was at i feel horrible and get panicky! so i dont think your being stupid at all! i think its a natural reaction if nasty things have happened to you at the hands of the police or in hospitals!
I still think of the time when I was in hospital being hancuffed and held down by police and was finally transported to a psychiatric hospital, I think that it can have a very traumatic constant emotional effect that can stay with you for a long time.
How are you doing generally, I try to keep up with your posts as I feel very concerned about you even though I do not know you personally
"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.
You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.
I just wrote about hypnosis and PTSD in another post. Strong reactions open your mind to impressions that can force themselves on your mind - often in conjunction with cues and triggers like you mention. Here was other post I made
"I studied hypnosis a lot while going after a psychohistory degree. A hypnotist doesn't really hypnotise a person as much as take over and manipulate a pre-existing state. Indeed at demonstrations they have all sorts of techniques for testing who are most suggestible people in the room.
Hypnosis is actually a part of PTSD. A shock or trauma causes a person to lose what hypnotists call "critical functions" or "critical factors". Those are a persons reason and defensive skills to protect psyche. When critical factors are suspended all sorts of impressions and suggestions get in the subconscious - where they drive the intellect and thoughts.
A flashback etc is at heart a hypnotic event, where elements of a person subconscious overwhelm a persons mind and even body. There is a "body memory" or conditioned reflex response. People's bodies can feel past events as if they were going through them anew. Cues can trigger a response.
Struggling with these things actually drives them deeper. Concentration is a factor in hypnosis. When people focus and concentrate on mantras, and breathing, and rythmns, and imagery of calm lakes etc they are creating a trance state they can subject themselves too. They can seem to lose conflicts that way in a kind of absolutions by absorption. However a person in that state can also lose awareness to a lot of other things and create other problems.
Some counseling can even make people with PTSD worse because these people need to "de-focus" but counselling can make them focus more in the wrong way. There are even studies that showed police and fire fighters who had trauma counseling were worse in 5 years than the ones who didn't have it.
I came across a hypnotist who realized people were already hypnotized to act self destructively and -de-hypnotizing them worked much better. Think of a kid who has their parents shock and upset them by calling them "no good" .."should never have been born" etc (happens all the time). When the kid gets upset and angry the negative suggestions get into her head. She thinks "I'm no good..I'm no good" etc over and over. If she gives in to that thinking she resents herself and her life. If she struggles against it she makes the suggestion stronger. In time she can feel demoralised and exhausted and want to just give in to apathy and ennui. The real way of getting free is to stop feeding root cause via fixations to emotions and lreactions that feed thoughts that feed emotions again - and drag the body with it
I used a method of "de-hypnotising" years ago and gave up 7 years of smoking with no withdrawl struggle at all. Other times I tried and makde smoking worse.
What was curious about it is a lot of past thoughts and feelings (many forgotten) bubbled up for review as they left. These were not a hardship since I saw them objectively without reacting to them. A lot of people get upset with any memories and emotions from past that bubble up - a reason they don't go away."
I'm sorry for not replying. No internet except limited, slow moblie.
Isoverity, thank you SO much for that post, it was a good, helpful read.
Tomorrowwillcome, I am still in hospital waiting for housing and nearly got my leave taken away by a nurse because the Voices made me distressed.
Might be getting PRN Haloperidol soon for the Voices and paranoia and stuff.
Re the flashbacks etc - I'm getting better with them; the flashbacks are decreasing, but when I see police officers...f*ck.
And you might be confused as to what the blue velcro bit is about, and this is weird, but when I was section 136-ed, I was thrown to the ground, restrained by four police men and then I was handcuffed. While being handcuffed, I had large blue velcro straps strapped around my legs so that I couldn't move them except for bending them (I actually tore them off with my teeth while in the back of the riot van and then kicked stuff and smashed up my nose until it bled everywhere and had to be 'dealt with' by the paramedics, but anyway....). That's what the blue velcro is about...I make so many associations. I will never be able to walk into a police station for any reason without feeling my breath stop or get shallow and my skin start to crawl with sweat. You know when I was typing about my section 136 experiences, my stomach was hurting and churning? I can't even LOOK at the number "136" without remembering.
Sorry.
I am so stupid.
I really am.
I just can't get the associations away.
I don't have PTSD, but I just make associations often.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I don't think you're being stupid at all - that sounds like a really traumatic experience and would affect anyone negatively. What you're describing does sound, to me, like there are elements of PTSD but I can't diagnose because I'm not a doctor. The factors such as it was something that would affect anybody, has a bad effect on you, associating seemingly "normal" things (like numbers, places, etc.) with it and having to avoid them... all sound like classic examples of a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder, but again, I can't fully say.
I think it would be worth mentioning to a psychiatrist or someone, though, because if you do have something like it, there are things that can be done to ease it. And even if you don't have a *diagnosis* of it, it wouldn't hurt to get their opinion and see if there's any help they can give/suggest to help you deal with it better.
that would be a very traumatic experience for anyone. you're not in the least bit stupid. i'm sure i'd do the same thing if that happened to me. *hugs*
Thanks Euphoria Blossom and divine5wilderness. I would discuss these things with the psychiatrist or psychologist but I'm worried they'll think my schizophrenia comes from PTSD or something stupid like that which is NOT TRUE and I don't want a mis-diagnosis and everyone to kick up a fuss about PTSD when this is so mild. I'm getting over it, really. It doesn't affect me as much as it used to now. I'll give it another month and it should almost be completely out of my head.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
emdr is reportedly the best kind of therapy for ptsd and these specific triggers are likely to be targetted by emdr just as effectively (see national institute for health and clinical excellence (NICE) guidelines for the treatment of ptsd on the web for info)
as long as it's not making your illness worse, and you can handle it... but if it becomes too bothersome do tell a dr. you don't have to mention ptsd, just say memories from being restrained and such bother you and certain things trigger those memories.
I talked to another patient on the ward and she said that her memories of being restrained were bad too.
I'm "getting over" the problems. They're not affecting me as much.
Thanks for the help though everyone.
Sorry for posting in such a panic, I was agitated at the time, but now these memories are calming down.
My illness is very troublesome atm but its not these memories that are making it worse.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
