Does anyone have Avoidant personality? Or avoidant traits or features?
I graduated high school last year, and have been doing absolutely nothing with my life since. I'm afraid to get a job because I don't want to have to be around so many people. I'm afraid to take a class or go to school for similar reasons. I'm afraid to learn how to drive because I'm afraid to mess up and have people think I'm stupid.
I'm supposed to take a class this summer. I'm not even signed up yet and I'm already worried about where I'll sit, who I'll talk to, if I'll make a fool of myself.
How do you cope when you have social anxiety or AvPD? How do I make friends and talk to people? How do I function?
I'm sorry I've made so many threads in the last couple of days. Everything is starting to hit me.
i have traits but don't know if i have the illness(its an illness right?). i can't be around many people, im extremely shy to talk in class, i can't talk when i go out, because im shy and i don't know what to say, i can't make new friends etc. i don't know how to cope. maybe talk to a counselor??
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
also i believe that everyone is judging me when i leave the house and that everyone stares at me. also im afraid of being humiliated in front of people. i always look down when i walk, in case i fall and be humiliated.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I'm pretty sure I have avoidant traits, not sure if I have AvPD, and I have been diagnosed with social phobia. I can relate to everything you've said...
Social phobia and AvPD aren't the same thing, though. (Though some say they're a varient of the same thing...Depends on what you read.) Social phobia revolves around a fear of negative evaluation, whereas shame, inadequacy, and a negative sense of self rule AvPD...The two can coexist for sure though. Here's an interesting quote from the website I'm about to give you: "Millon and Martinez (Livesley, ed., 1995, p. 222) believe that the avoidant personality is essentially a problem of relating to people while social phobia is largely a problem of performing in situations..."
I used to have traits but, I somehow got past it, to where I can pretty much live my life. I used to avoid things due to phobias.
The only things i avoid now are using the phone (which im still pretty scared of doing)
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
I might have, my psychologist gave me some information about something and I found out that she had taken it from a book about APD. Sometimes I am too afraid to do things because there are people around, so I don't collect my medication or go into shops if there are people there, etc. When i'm feeling a little braver I can force myself to do things, they often aren't as scary as you imagine them to be. I made a lot of friends through becoming a mentor at uni. I did avoid them quite a lot but I also did manage to spend some time with them.
Keep challenging your thoughts and believe in yourself. Remind yourself that what you think about yourself or what you think others are thinking about you isn't always right. Take care.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I have social anxiety that I'm working on with a CBT group thing (which is pretty nerve racking).
I don't have any good advice, but is there anyone in real life you can talk to about this? Maybe a counselor or someone? Most colleges also will help if you know how to ask for it.
Thank you for all of your help and support. I will no longer be coming to RYL. Semi-explanation will be inside my profile.
I have a few traits, usually when my mental health problems are at their worst. It's not usually a problem when I'm doing okay.
I don't know what to suggest really as I've never received any help for it at all, and I'm in a bit of a rubbish place with this sort of thing at the moment. I just wanted you to know that I read. You're not alone *hug*
I'm pretty sure I have avoidant traits, not sure if I have AvPD, and I have been diagnosed with social phobia. I can relate to everything you've said...
Social phobia and AvPD aren't the same thing, though. (Though some say they're a varient of the same thing...Depends on what you read.) Social phobia revolves around a fear of negative evaluation, whereas shame, inadequacy, and a negative sense of self rule AvPD...The two can coexist for sure though. Here's an interesting quote from the website I'm about to give you: "Millon and Martinez (Livesley, ed., 1995, p. 222) believe that the avoidant personality is essentially a problem of relating to people while social phobia is largely a problem of performing in situations..."
I too suffer greatly from this. At 23 do not work, go to college (which is what i want to do), or really go out purely to avoid people. I think taking the class is a great idea because it keeps you out, and its less stressful than say having a job. You dont want to fall too out of touch with things, it only gets harder. Just try to do something small each day. i'm trying in such a way, and it does take time. Sorry i dont have too much advise though.
It's weird because...I went to my University's health services a few summers ago, and in retrospect, it was obvious the counsellor was asking me questions to determine if I had (have?) AvPD. It's very hard for me as far as jobs go...I could never be a waitress or something that involved a lot of one-on-one interaction w/people, but I think it's taken more of a toll on my interpersonal relationships. I simply don't trust other people and I won't get emotionally close to them on my part...I am more than willing to be there for them in their times of need, but when it comes to revealing "too much" about myself, I shut down and withdraw. I keep emotional distance, so to speak, but I wish I wasn't like that. As a result, I have few close friends (aside from ones I've known for at least 10 years) and have never had a serious relationship...And all of this bothers me!
I don't mean to hijack your thread, but I thought I should elaborate as to why I can relate. Sometimes I wonder if they have diagnosed me, but just didn't tell me thinking it would make me upset...Did they straight up tell you that you have AvPD, or did you view your medical records? (I'm thinking about viewing my records too... )
I was diagnosed with traits, previously. I asked my therapist once and she listed off my diagnoses. A few months ago, I took a series of psych tests, and was given the diagnosis of AvPD. My tester told me when we were going over the results.
Last edited by one lie at a time : 27-04-2009 at 04:57 PM.
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