Triggering (Substance Abuse) - This shouldn't be happening *slight rant*

[sillyputty]

I shouldn't have to be posting in ryl...I should be better. I feel better than I did before but somehow something's not right...I've started to overdose on sleep meds and painkillers and ****. I just can't understand it. I shouldn't be having this problem. Every party I go to, I have to drink something before I get there...even if it's a sober party. I keep taking more sleep meds that I'm supposed because I wanna get knocked out. I don't how this problem popped. WTF is wrong with me??? I should be alright! I'm better, I'm even out of the treatment place that I was at for my depression. I shouldn't be posting here. I don't what the hell I'm doing this for and I don't want to tell anyone because everyone is so happy that I'm better that I couldn't possibly tell them.
It's like ever since I stopped SIing, I've started doing this.
I don't know what to do!

[*..life in pain..*]

i know how you feel. its so hard to tell people you aren't feeling well, when everyone thinks that you are alright, but you should tell someone, because you are suffering. tell your doctor. they are able to help you. don't suffer in silence.