Triggering (Suicide) - not enough help?

[iloverats]

i'm sorry for posting.
i fee

[guiltyinnocence]

there is no need to be sorry sweetie, and u are definately not pathetic or wasting space! you're struggling and you need some support
*hugs* i can relate to alot of what you have said
is there any chance you could tell the early intervention team how unsafe you're feeling atm? if you could tell them maybe they could offer more support...like more appointments, someone from the crisis team coming to see you/speak to u regularly, maybe even hospital?
sorry im not much help
pm me anytime if u want someone to talk to
keep safe sweetie
xxxx

[iloverats]

i did tell early intervention
had an appointment yesterday she asked how i was, blah blah,
and she asked how safe i was....and i told her, i'd written the notes, got more stuff, and am at risk of doing it. i told her i have no control. i told her it was highly likely i would overdose this weekend.

she told me to ring the crisis team if needed,
i got scared off from ringing them again, cos last time i did, they let me down, and i ended up reluctantly being in hospital.
i'm very scared of asking for help...i hate doing it.
i feel like i'm just wasting their time, and attention seeking etc.

[guiltyinnocence]

you are not wasting their time and you are certainly not attention seeking!
what scares you about asking for help?
what do you think would help you at the moment?
xxxx

[iloverats]

gah, i have no idea what would help at the moment.
its probably selfish of me to want more help, i'm sure early intervention are brilliant, they just aren't helping me.
i'm just so unsafe, and out of control, i'm scared i'm going to do somthing, at the moment i'm just waiting for it to happen, when i loose total control.

i've always had a fear of asking for help. i just don't like taking up peoples time. i'm scared of them not actualy helping i suppose too.
thanks for replying :)

[guiltyinnocence]

its not selfish at all. you realise you're unsafe and you need some help!
i dont know what to suggest...maybe tell the early intervention team how unsafe you are and that the crisis team doesnt help..maybe u could even bring up hospital with them??
you're not alone with the fear of asking for help!
xxxx

[guiltyinnocence]

heya sweetie, just wondering hw you're getting on?
keep fighting this
xxxx

[iloverats]

hey...not good. really not good.
my 'substance' intake is rediculous, self harm worse than ever for me, and i'm just generally in a terrible state.

early intervention are coming this thursday.
but i know that appointment isnt going to make me feel any better, or help in any way shape or form.

i have no faith in help.
i dont even want to hang on anymore.

thanks for caring. hope your okay.

[guiltyinnocence]

im sorry to hear how crappy things are. please keep trying to hold on, the fight will be worth it sweetie
if the people arent helping could you request to see someone else? do u think you could ask if they could get the crisis team to see you a coupla times a week maybe? just while you're struggling so much. or even hospital...just to keep you safe for a bit?
i care about you sweetie, and im here for you
keep fighting
xxxx