Triggering (Suicide) - on the edge - how do i tell them what's driving me over?
I'm sorry for posting so much asking for help when i'm so useless, I just really feel at the end right now and don't know where to go.
If you've read any of my other stuff recently, you'll know i'm under crisis team. Thing is, i'm too scared to talk to them, and i really really want to. If i cant talk now, i never will, and i'll be dead.
I'm just so scared. How do you tell someone, you're almost certain that your thoughts are being listened to, and that people are interrupting them, trying to push you closer to death, taunting you with sounds and words? I dont even know if this is normal thinking anymore. I spoke to a friend, and told her i couldnt take the meds because i think the psych is in on it, and therefore pushing also, and she looked a bit freaked, so now i'm embarrassed and confused. I dont know what to do because a big part of me knows this, but theres a tiny tiny bit of doubt.
Please, does anyone have any advice? This is what scares me the most, and yet i cant tell them, and i know if i dont tell them everything they cant help me.. and i think i want to be helped at last. I cant go on like this anymore.
they wont believe me tho, or wont admit to it if they're in on it, as i suspect some of them are, therefore even speaking about it is not going to get a resolution, because they will most likely be lying.
i'm sorry. if i come through this, i really want to help you guys out in return.
dont be sorry for posting sweetie! and you will come through this!
it sounds asthough you're really struggling atm, but it also sounds like you really do want the help.
what worries you about telling them?
they will believe what you tell them, and they will understnd how much it is affecting you! the thoughts can seem so real, but they arent. though i undeerstand how real they must seem to you
sorry if im being useless
im here for you, and im only a pm away
you really need to be honest with the crisis team asap so they can help you
stay safe
xxxx
*hugs*
they wont think you are lying or making it up, im sure of it.
if you find it hard to voice the words, why not write them a letter, that is how i managed to tell my psych things.
they will understand that it is really hard for you to talk about, and they will respect the fact you are trying to help yourself by telling them.
dont be sorry about posting, we are here as much as you need us
xxx
'the pain you feel is real,
you're not asleep,
but its a nightmare,
but you cant wake up anytime.'
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment *hugs*, I know that talking about some issues with people can be terrifying, I also thought they wouldn't believe me or that my problems were insignificant.
The main thing is that you want help, I used to find writing everything down and then letting my therapist read it helpful. Sometimes it's easier to write things than say them. I felt a lot 'lighter' after letting people know my 'secrets' and I've now got some very caring and understanding people in my life.
I hope you're able to share you're burdens and get the help you deserve :)
"Where ever I am I always find myself looking out the window wishing I was somewhere else." - Angelina Jolie
How can you be so sure they'll believe me? I feel so unsafe, i'm trying hard not to hurt myself, i see myself dead. I cannot contact anyone for fear of my family finding out, or using me. I'm so tired, its exhausting, trying to hold on and reach out for and accept help. I can hear her mocking, laughing, crunching in the night and feel them stealing my thoughts. i have to quiet it. thank you so much for your help. i hope i can holld this in my head when i manage to see them.
I'm scared what will happen if i tell them how close to death i am, how much i cannot control my mind when they get in there. I'm scared that they will laugh. I'm scared they will watch me more. I'm scared that they are tricking me. I'm scared that i am wasting their time, if im going to die anyway. I'm trying not to though, does that count for something?
*hugs* it sounds very scary for you atm
but if u let them know whats happening for you then they will be able to help you. maybe u could write it down and give it to them?right down exactly whats going on in your head and whats scaring you
i cann assure you they are not going to laugh and you certainly arent wasting there time
im so glad you're trying to fight this, and im so glad to hear you're trying to hold on
keep on fighting this sweetie
as i said im only ever a pm away
xxxx
