I woke up this morning to find a note on my floor. I picked it up and it turns out it was my hand writing. The first line is pretty straight forward "I'm writing this note to you because I full well know you won't remember anything" and I don't. Well, I do. It's foggy, like I kind of remember. I know I was awake last night. I know I was home last night. But, anyway, here's what I wrote to myself ( I shortened it by a full page and a half to make it eariser, plus I figured you really only needed to get the 'feel' of how the note went): Dear Self,
I'm writing this note to you because I full well know you won't remember anything. Anyway, to the point. I'm thinking, obviously, you've got bipolar and borderline. You've also got some social phobia/anxiety. Why, the way you acted in that store...the sweating, the muttering, the racing heartrate. What was that? I've also noticed other things like those nightmares, could be some PTSD from that tornado back in 2003...And, I know your parents could careless about the severity of your mania/hypomania and as soon as you are a little depressed get on your back. I also know that at the date I'm writing this you're in a mixed state - a really hard place to be in. Please, stay strong.
Love,
Cydny
I obviously wrote this last night, it's in my hand writing, however, I don't really remember writing it. It's like that person is talking to me in conversation, but starts the letter "Dear Self". My name is not Cydny. I don't know anyone with that name. I'm obviously quite frightened as to how many times now that this has actually happened. I can't remember it, and this is the first time I've gotten a note. Does anyone really have any idea what's going on here?
No, it's not schizophrenia, I think someone would have picked up on that one. It's a bit obvious, and I am seeing a therapist on a weekly basis, and have seen multiple psychiatrists. Unless, schizophrenia can lie in somewhat of a sleeping stage and all of a sudden display itself. I highly doubt that I have it though.
Multiple personality seems a bit extreme too, but honestly, this is the first time it's happened, so I can't remember any other time. But, uh, isn't that a symptom? So, I guess, it could be...
Hmm, it's just interesting how only now this other personality decided to write a note...really, fascinating.
That must be scary. Have you got a psych or counsellor at all? If so I think you need to show this letter to them and show them this thread if you need too. If you haven't got any help with this then do you think you could go to the doctors?
I'm not a psych and i'm not going to pretend I know what it might be but, try not to worry until you've spoken to someone about it because you'll probably end up scaring yourself.
Please go and see someone about this.
Stay Safe and Take Care
Leighxxx
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
It sounds like you had a brief dissociative episode. Stress can cause these. As well as, of course, past trauma. Also some medications can make you disorientated and forgetful before sleep. But definitely tell your treatment team. They can help you understand your triggers, and help you manage this safely.
Only a doctor can diagnose you with DID or Schizophrenia, I would get worried about diagnoses now, it's important that you look after yourself, not get wound up on diagnosis. I don't think it sounds at all like schizophrenia, having said that though.
It does sound really scary hun. Maybe do something to treat yourself, have a hot chocolate. Remember whatever it is, it can be sorted. You're not alone, I've had friends who've done the same thing, and I know they're fine now. Definitely bring it up with your therapist, and keep talking hun, we're here for you.
I would definitely ask your doctor. Very intriguing, I wouldn't be too worried though because this Cydny person seems rational and inteliigent.
That being said, I know this sounds far fetched....but do you think it is possible that this "Cydny" could be something like a guardian angel, or medium control? Someone who can only talk to you when you are in an unconscious or semiunconscious state? Just a thought.
I know this is an old thread but I was wondering what the update is. Did are talk to your therapist about this? Just wondering what how you are doing now. Hope all is well.
-Mandy
Then she closed her eyes and found relief in a knife
the blood flows as she cries
The deeper you cut the deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut it only gets worse
Then she opened her eyes and found relief through His lifeand put down her knives
Then she opened her life and found reliefthrough His eyes