Sounds like you're going through a horrible time right now, 22 months without self harm is amazing you should be very proud of that achievement. I know what it's like to go back to self harm after a period of abstinence and it is the worst feeling. I felt like I had failed myself and everyone, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I think self harm becomes such a part of your life and coping strategy that when familiar negative feelings arise, the first thought will always be the 'old friend' self harm. Try and think what consequences your self harm has had in the past, has anything positive ever come from it? Stay strong and talk to people, isolation will only cause you to loose touch with reality. Hang in there :)
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