*General Trig* Solvents.Help Please?

[Lace-Me-Up-x]

Okay, Where to start?

Erm. well, for around 2.5 - 3 years I was heavily addicted to solvents. Thanks to an incredibly unhealthy relationship I started using in school and ended up being put on "emotional leave" for just short of a month. It put the shits up my mum so she sent me [dragged me.what's the difference :/] to the local youth drugs counsilling centre[DYT for the purpose of this post ]. I thought it'd be a huge pile of steaming **** but it turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me.

Anyway, that was Feb 08. I was still heavily using [with the addition of a continued heavy alcohol addiction continued for around 2 years and the occasional spliff] until around March when I was thrown out of school for drinking alcohol on school premisis. I was seeing the DYT sometimes up to 3 times a week. They helped me reduce using from hourly down to going weeks without using.

Eventually, I made it to free for a month but "relapsed". Long story short, I've been free since January[?] . Well, I'm 3 months and 8 days clean anyway. I'm no longer seeing the DYT. My last appointment was 2 weeks ago. I don't think it was the wrong decision to leave. I know that at the time, I was ready. I'm just panicking right now. I get hooked to it so quickly and then it always leads to the other ****pissshit.

I know the risks [instant death, liver damage, lung/throat/nasal damage, severe memory loss etc] and I'm already suffering from some of them. I know the pros and cons. But the risks are looking appealing and the pros and cons are getting muddled together into one big heap of pros. I've wasted so much of my life to drink and drugs. I can't afford to throw any more away.

If you've read this far, well done. Why you have, I don't know. But please, just some words of support?

[samshine]

I can empathize with your situation, I too suffer from the use of negative coping skills. I know that there is some comfort into returning to old behaviors but look how far they got you. From the sounds of your post you do have some desire to change, you can only do this by taking it one day at a time, and respecting yourself and your body. :)

[Lace-Me-Up-x]

Doesn't matter now.
messed it all up
and I can seemyserlf getting into old routines.
But it doesn't matter.

[MeganAlmighty]

It does matter.However you've 'messed up' cant you try (i know its hard) to see it as a little hick up rather than see it as a fall back...heard of the saying 'a stumble may prevent a fall'?
I might be talking a load of rubbish but thats how i try to see things now...keeps me a little more... sane...i think :s

Keep fighting it chicka, thats all the advice i have, sorry.

x

[Lace-Me-Up-x]

But calling it a hickup makes it seem like i want to caryr on "recovering"
and i don't think I do.

A friend said today that Solvent's ain't real drugs.
So i have nothign to be recovering from do i ><

[MeganAlmighty]

Solvents are a drug and can be a real problem..

As for recovering i think you need to decide on where you stand at the moment..hell, i know thats hard.Sometimes i dont know whether im in recovery or not.Its up and down all the time i understand that.

Put yes solvent abuse is a real problem and can be an addiction.And its worth talking to someone proffesional about it.Do you have anyone like that you can talk to?

[twink12]

solvents are drugs.
if a friend told you pigs could do back flips would you honestly believe them? there are reasons why solvents and such are only able to be purchased by people aged 16+ sweetie and i understand that this sort of addiction can mean that the cons at the time aren't as 'important' as what you are craving. but in the long term... you might look back and wonder why you felt the way you did in order to get into the spiral. justbecause you made one **** up doesnt mean you can allow yourself to do more if you really deep down want to get better. *supportive hugs*
xx