I realized something the other day! I think i know why i first started cutting! I remember seeing a movie where a girl cut herself and thinking "oh my god! i could never/would never do that!" when i was really young. Well, i went out with this guy that i thought i really liked....we went to see Saw 3 and out to dinner one night. I worked with him...two days after our date he was fired and i never ever saw him again. I tried to call, but he never answered...he was just trying to sleep with me...but i was dumb enough to think that he actually liked me....blah blah blah. It was a few days after that...or geez, maybe even that very day...that i first cut. I could never figure out why the thought leapt into my mind so readily....but a couple days ago...i figured it out. The movie...Saw III....there's a scene where a girl is cutting herself. That must have planted the seed in my mind....i had completely forgotten about that movie....i honestly can't remember any part of it...i can't even describe the cutting scene to you...(it must not have been a very good movie...well, actually i prolly blocked it out cuz it had to do with him...), but the other day it just came flooding back, and i went cold with the realization of it......too weird...
"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites."
"You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear."
"Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..."
"...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
"I believe in God...even when he's silent" unknown
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: home
I am currently:
That is weird. I've never watched that movie, but I can imagine that it might start a cutting addiction. Wow, that's interesting, in a bad way though, but still....interesting to think about.
"I believe in God...even when he's silent" unknown
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: home
I am currently:
What I think is really weird is how you blocked out the movie, and then after so long you remembered it again. Our minds are kind of crazy like that. It's too bad that we can't rewind time and see exactly what we were thinking. I would go back to the day I first started cutting and figure out what made me do it. I remember when it happened, but I don't know what was going on that led me to do it at that moment, or how I even thought to do something like that.
"I believe in God...even when he's silent" unknown
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: home
I am currently:
I can't watch those kinds of movies either Peace *shivers*. They make me feel sick and when you watch someone else hurting themselves, it's a lot different from you hurting yourself. I don't know why, but it just feels like they're doing something terrible, even though we do the same thing and it doesn't feel so bad.
Alina, that's really odd. I think we might be twins! lol......since we seem to think the same. But it is curious. Anyway, how are you holding up? Are things going alright? I really hope so. :)
Stephh, I know how you feel about being embarrassed. Have you ever watched the movie Thirteen??? I watched it and the first time was with my mum. It was HORRIBLE, because it was after she had found out about me, but she thought I had stopped already and I hadn't, so I was VERY uncomfortable. I can imagine you might have felt the same way.
I can't watch those kinds of movies either Peace *shivers*. They make me feel sick and when you watch someone else hurting themselves, it's a lot different from you hurting yourself. I don't know why, but it just feels like they're doing something terrible, even though we do the same thing and it doesn't feel so bad.
yeah, exactly. weird.
i couldn't even watch degrassi back when i was younger because they had that one girl who cut herself.
ugh.
Yeahh, it can be really scary when you remember/find out the reasons/why you started self-harming. But I'm glad you know. It might make things less confusing? It did for me anyway. xo.
Godsmydaddy, i like the idea of having a twin! I'm doing alright right now....and yeah, katiee...it is less confusing, and i'm a little relieved actually....
"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites."
"You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear."
"Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..."
"...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
^ I first saw cutting in the movie Thirteen, but I didn't actually cut until about 6 months later. I had the same thing as you, when I realised that I probably got the idea from the film I went all cold and it freaked me out a bit.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell. But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Unwell - Matchbox 20
"Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the trouble?"
George Pacaud (1879 - 1937)
yeah, it was the strangest feeling! I was just driving down the road and i passed a 7-11 that i went to with that guy that same night....and whoosh! It does make me wonder what else i've suppressed...
"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites."
"You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear."
"Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..."
"...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
