Triggering (SI/ED) - *plus triggering suicide* Have written letter to psychiatrist...UPDATE...WHAT SHE SAID :@

[brokendancer]

i have been going through a rely tough patch for a long time and have decided, after trying everything else, that teh best way forward for me is to go inpatient. thsi is for my bulimia, self harm, trying to kill my self all the time and depression.

this is the letter i have written to my psychiatrist, i wanted to know what people thaught...any changes...or should i just not give it to her..

dear dr ****
i am writing to you as i feel that i am not always conpleatly honest with you about my difficulties, and opinions during appointements.
i am currently, and have been for teh past few moths, been going through a very rough patch. my eating has goten increasingly worse, and in turn so has my heath, this is very worrying as i am getting very sick and dehydrated. i am now throwing up **** times a day which is wrecking my health. my self harm is also getting worse, i have been cutting much worse and need steri strips or stiches every time i do it. my parents wont however, take me to the hospital when i need them as tehy dont want em in hospital all weekend waiting for camhs to come and see me. i am also haveing a lto of problems with suicidal thaughs and am stuggeling to kee myself safe, i do not think i will be able to do this for much longer.
my parents also wont take me to teh hospital for fears of me going inpatent at chester, or anther similar unit. they think that it will do no good and wont it is however my belief that i will only be able to get better of i go inpatient. i think it is teh nly way that i can get better or get to a point were i feel safe to be alone. i have no self controll, and unless i am taken out of my life and ut under watch i will not stop, beauce knowone is physically stopping me.
i would like to ask if you could take what i ahve said into serious consideration as i do not believe i can keep myself safe for much longer.

yours sincerley

sarah


so yahh that is...opinions?

[whirlpools]

i think it's a very honest letter, good luck giving it to your psychiatrist.

[Kija]

i dont really have much advice, but i think that its good your being honest, and that you should definately give it to your pysch.
good luck
xxx

[brokendancer]

do you think it will gte me some more help/support ect

[sherlock holmes]

I think you should definately show it to your psychiatrist.

[xbeckyx]

I think it's very honest, well done.
Please try show it to your psych.
After reading it she should give you more support suited to what you need.
x

[trina1723]

i think you should give it to her, it is really honest and it will help you to get the help you deserve.
good luck!
xxx

[brokendancer]

thanks guys....do you think she will let em go IP

[sherlock holmes]

If she agrees that it's the best thing for you right now.

She may want to try the home treatment team / crisis team first.

[brokendancer]

they have for teh past year, ive just goten worse and more out of controll and have no crisis team

[trina1723]

i hope she listens to you and gives you more support, like control freak said she might want to try you with the crisis team, but she might agree to you going IP. i guess you will have to wait and see.
xxx

[brokendancer]

they dont have a crisis team :/
so i duno what she would do

[brokendancer]

so UPDATE...if anyone atually cares

basically the psyc told me that there isnt anything they can do, dispite the fact that i was neerly crying infront of her....i never cry btw...she just said, oh you feel liek jumping of a bridge/carpark, you cut so badly that you have to go a and e every time, but thats ok. we aint gna offer you any additional help, just leave everything as it is, and tell you repeatedly that its your responisibity to keep yourself safe....arhgggggggg


i am gna do sumit stupid now, my head cant cope anymore

[sherlock holmes]

I would imagine if you kept going to A&E they would eventually admit you.

How about going to A&E now and telling them you are very unsafe?

[brokendancer]

tehy dont care....and my parents wont take me, they wont when i have rely bad cuts and have passed out due to blood loss

i duno what to do anymore

i am just triggered constanlty

and stuff happened today to make everything worse, and knowone gets it

[EmmaM]

I went to a & e time and time again whenever I felt unsafe (when I was at my worst with anorexia, laxative abuse, self harm etc) so they had it on record and I was able to argue my case when I saw the CAMHS and happened to have a psych appointment the same day I told them they had to let me go in voluntary as I had no control and needed to use the time to break my purging (laxatives) cycle and they let me go to the assessment unit.
Also with Bulimia you should ask for a blood test from your gp as with bulimia (from what I understand) if your blood work is deficient in certain things you can be allowed to go into hospital. So for your own health (especially as you state the purging is effecting your health) so it may be worth asking for the blood test to bring any deficiencies to the psychs attention.
As for your parents jump on a bus etc to get to hospital to get stitches etc if you need them. Don't listen to them, you DESERVE the help you CLEARLY NEED and you have to take yourself if other people won't help you. I hope for your sake that eventually you get the help as it sounds like they are really messing you about and not being as helpful as they should be xxx

[brokendancer]

its not that easy for me to go...
and ive had blood tests. when they can get any, they never get enough blood for proper tests because im so dehydrated form purging/laxitives.

i just duno what to do anymore, i told them today theat i cant keep myself safe anymore, but she doesnt give a flying ****...just told me it will be ok, they do it every time. i have overdosed twice in teh sace of a week in the past ad they ahve done nothing....no they defo aint gna do anything now untill i drop down with ehart failure or sumit

[Sleepless123]

im sorry ive only just seen this.

Firstly i want to say a massive well done for writing the letter for the psyh and seeing her!!Thats amazing and really great!i know you probably feel now that you got nothing from it but it was very brave and a huge huge step and you should be very proud.

i am also really sorry that you are being treated like this.It must be very frustrating and is also very wrong.It must also hurt a lot to feel like you arent being heard.

Do you have any other support apart from the Psychatrist?Like a counsellor, Psychologist, social worker or doctor/GP or anyone you speak to too?Or is there a trusted teacher or anyone who knows your case and you can talk to and maybe have a quiet word with and who can support your case further.

im sorry that you feel unheard, that nobody is with you, that you are on your own etc.That must really suck especially when you are dealing with so much.

Just please keep talking with us and i know how its hard but please dont do anything stupid.Please please find a way to get to the hospital somehow if you think your gonna its really important.

And as said above keep fighting your case with CAMHs.

i know its tiring and hard especially when you are struggling already but please dont give up - they have to listen eventually and your life must be worth this.

i know i dont know you personally or anything like that and havent met you but i do care.Really i do.Know im not much use and only words on a computer screen and this probably isnt much use to you right now but i do care and im sure lots of others here do too.

You and your health is important to us.Please keep talking and feel free to PM me anytime also.

[brokendancer]

they wont listen eventually, i knw they wont, ive turned up rely ill after overdoses, and nothing has been done, ive tried to jum of bridges guess what, nothing. i just give up

[*..life in pain..*]

keep fighting sweetie. please go to a&e and explain how you feel. sorry, i can't add anything to what others have said.