Triggering (SI/OD) - Opps

ferretmonster · 04-04-2009, 11:47 AM

Been struggling quite a bit these last few weeks, abusing painkillers and booze (not the same time) cutting etc and it all came to a head this week,

I ODed on painkillers and ended up going to a and e im ok now and my referal to head doctors has been arranged for next week now all a bit odd looking back on it thouhg like it was a different person, but i have to say i was really worried about going to hospital but they were really nice and looked after me.

now i just have to face the music at 27 my parents and friends all know :/

one_step_closer · 04-04-2009, 02:17 PM

I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you, do you recognised what caused it? I hope things get better for you soon. Take care and get in touch any time.

ferretmonster · 04-04-2009, 03:03 PM

variuos things but mostly just me being in an increasingly bad place in my head,

thank you for your reply, dont really know why i posted other than i felt the need to share

iloverats · 04-04-2009, 11:20 PM

hun know how you feel. i've been abusing pills and booze for a few months now too.
and i was in hopsital too this week.

hope your family and friends are ok about it :)
hope you get all the support you need now.
xx

ferretmonster · 05-04-2009, 02:36 PM

I think ive alienated my friends, they hate me, i shouldnt be allowed to talk to people when im low therefore i have deleted their numbers from my phone and deleted them from msn, this way hopefully i cant annoy them anymore when im in that stupid frame of mind,

i was norty again last night nearly went to a and e but couldnt bring myself to stay there, i dont like being in hospital, plus what would they think? i was back again within a few days, i can't believe im so rubbish

the shrinks asked me the other day about my eating habits so i told them that lately, it was all or nothing, then then asked if i ever threw up, i said no, but i have for the last few weeks, but its only recently. I never understood how people could make them selves sick before but now i can see the need.

god im getting more and more messed up, bring on tuesdays appointment

iloverats · 05-04-2009, 08:35 PM

well please try an be honest on your next appointment..they wont judge you, and they've seen/heard t all before and they want tohelp remember :)

sorry to hear that you did it again...
but you should alwas go to A&E even if you've only just been.

as for your friends...try not to push them away, they probably dont hate you. its hard keeping friendships when you'v got big problems of your own to deal with...i've lost my friends.

hope everyhting goes ok hun. take care...pm me anytime. xx

ferretmonster · 05-04-2009, 09:36 PM

I know, i dont want to push them away but i think ive made them angry enough lately so im giving them a break from me, they know how to contact me should they want to.

also i did actually register with a and e but while i was waiting i felt such a idiot, i snuck back out again. meh only 1 day left til the appointment, wish me luck, never been to anything like this before and im kinda nervous!