Triggering (Suicide) - OD ED I have enough to kill me. HELP.
I almost ran away last night.
My Family hates me.
My therapist hates me.
I hate me.
They are trying to force me to eat healthily.
Bastards. Binging and purging is mine.
I have no future left.
My mum won't pay me back the money I need to see John.
No matter what I do, they will try to force me better. I've overdosed 6 times in the last year, I should know better by now.
Sweetheart, running is so not the answer. I am one of those people who just goes back to basic survival methods, fight or flight, and let me tell you first hand, it solves nothing. If anything, it makes things a lot worse. Your family may be harsh on you, and I'm not going to tell you that they don't hate you because I don't know them. However, I am going to say that they should NOT hate you. Because you are a human being, you have feelings, and you deserve to be supported and nurtured and loved by your family... Sometimes our familes don't give us that. Sometimes they give us the opposite. I'm relatively sure your therapist doesnt hate you though, it may feel that way, but our feelings mislead us. It is then that we have to rely on logic and others to help us find our way to the right path. If your mom won't pay you the money back, maybe you can find another way to get the money. Maybe he can find a way to get some money. I mean there are always options out there.
.....as far as 'forcing you to be better', maybe it's just their way of trying to help. I know it probably doesn't feel that way right now, but I mean they probably don't understand.Lots of loved ones dont understand. They can't make you do anything that you don't want to do, thats illegal, but, maybe if you considered some of the things, maybe , just only maybe, it could help. You deserve to be helped. So you've made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes and you realize that. It doesn't mean that the feelings that lead to those mistakes still aren't there. But look at it this way, you realize that it was a mistake, and you don't want that to happen again. You can see it in a illogical way. You see it was wrong, and you know, logically, you don't want to do it again. Emotionally, however, that may be a different story. But you can get through this safely. You are not alone. And I'm am fully confident that you have a future. You can make that future into whatever you want it to be.
If you need someone feel free to contact me.....<3
Last edited by Tweetyluver07 : 01-04-2009 at 01:47 PM.
Reason: Clicked the post button to soon-typo
Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Hun, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I'm sure your family and therapist don't hate you, but it might come across like that. *HUGS* We're all here for you sweetie. xo.
honey, eating healthily is important. you know that. they are not trying to be mean
your family is worried about you, they dont hate you.
and there is no way Judy hates you, she loves you dearly
binging and purging are bad things, you yourself have told me that several times. remember all the times you have told me how happy you were that you have decided to recover?
of course you have a future, its with me my love remember? we are going to marry each other one day and start a family? we get to have our own little angels one day
maybe i can talk to your mum? it is your money after all. but dont worry about the money, i have almost enough to buy a one way ticket to you, then your stuck with me :)
whats important right now is you getting better, not the trip. we can figure out the whole trip thing after you get better ok?
lets focus on you, how can i help? ill do anything you ask
I care about you...and they arent trying to hurt you...they want you to eat healthy because they care...if you ever need to talk...I'm here for you....no matter what
