I tried to cut today and i managed to, after so long, but it was nothing, which made me feel so much worse, because i really wanted to hurt myself and be serious. the fact that it wasn't serious, made me want to die more, because im not able to cut like i used to.
whatever happens, i want to die, even with the slightest thing. be it the fact that i can't cut, or that i can't wait for lunch because the food isn't ready, or the fact that my pc has problems like its slow, or that i don't have cigarettes, with everything that bothers me, it makes me more depressed and wanting to die. i don't know why i want to die when something that i don't like, happens.
Im so pathetic. if i was strong, i would be able to fight every difficulty. i just want to die so much. not die, but not live, you know what i mean?
i know i won't get replies, because people here have more important problems, but i wanted to tell someone. im so pathetic.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
hun you are not pathetic. im sorry i dont have much advise, but i just wanted to say i read your post and that i care.. and i can tell you now you are no way parthetic. Im sorry your feeling like this, Im always here if you need to talk more, just PM.. take care sweetie and try and stay safe XXXX
Last edited by *Stars_above* : 30-03-2009 at 01:28 PM.
Reason: spelling
Hey there hunny,
Firstly, don't think that other people's problems are more important than your own. If you need support, then those problems are as important as anyone elses, if that makes sense? *hugs gently*
You're not pathetic, you're just struggling hunny, okay? There's a difference x You are strong, too. You're still here, right? Still fighting. Asking for help makes you strong too. I understand what you mean, wanting to die all the time. I'm kinda in the same situation. Have you tried distractions? If you feel like you want to cut or getting suicidal thoughts, then maybe watch a comedy, or go for a walk or something you enjoy doing? Feel free to PM me, x x
yeah i have support, my appointment is tomorrow and i will ask to change my meds because they don't work.
only when i go out with friends it makes me feel better, but that doesn't happen very often.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
Hey there Irene. I don't think I've seen you before. I added you as a facebook friend from the link in your profile.
I just want to say that you are NOT pathetic. I'm sorry that things seem so lousy at the moment.
I'm sorry to hear that you slipped up today. Please don't think it's the end of the world. You can make it the start of the road to recovery. I know that cutting isn't something good but I'm glad that it wasn't too serious and that you didn't injure yourself badly.
It's very sad that you are constantly wanting to die. You look so young and pretty in your photo on facebook. I guess I would be a hypocrit for criticising you about it as I often have the same suicidal tendencies and I also had them at your age. You mentioned going out with friends sometimes, maybe seeing them might cheer you up? I'm sure they would be devistated if something bad happened to you. Please stay strong hun and seek help. Please ask your doctor to do something about the meds. If he/she isn't helpful then get another doctor's opinion. I've had mine changed about ten times so I know it can be frustrating changing meds and going through all the side affects but it will be worth it in the end. Also give this site a try: www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/ It will help you to develop coping skills. I found it very helpful and I plan on doing it again when I get some time off from studies.
thanks Nathan. *hugs back* i will add you on facebook. also thanks for saying that im pretty! yeah i will ask my doctor tomorrow, i hope she changes them. i hope she doesn't say that i don't need meds, because im sure i need them.
no matter how much i want to die, i won't do it, because i don't want to hurt other people. also, i decided not to cut again, because it isn't worth it, and i want to save myself from all the anger that i have when i cut, if it isn't serious. its better not to do it at all. but its very hard, since i really miss it all the time.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
