It's not anything dramatic but I don't think I belong in this world. It would stop all the noise and all the stupidity if I wasn't so why do I keep trying? Is it because society deems it wrong to commit suicide? I would like it to be over because I am not supposed to be here. I don't understand.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
dont give in....i am at an all time low, fight it, believe me it can be woorth it. fight like hell, dont let anything get to you like that, talk to me pm me i will listen
I'm 27. I have got a degree from the best uni in the country, got a distinction in my post-grad, was thought as a "rising star" in my national law firm but in reality I couldn't cut it. I have wasted my intellect. I shouldn't be here.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
sounds like you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself. you're young; is there any way you could take some time out of the high-pressured job, do a different one for a while and go back to your current career once you feel more steady and well, or would that be too complicated? (sorry, i don't know much about these things).
i'm an artist. not a very talented one. i may have to do a completely different job for a while before i can make a living from my art. so i guess i'll just make enough money to get by and try to enjoy it, until i am well enough to train as an art therapist, which may not be for a looong time. i understand it feels like a waste of time and waste of intellect, but go easy on yourself. it's not worth worrying yourself sick over because we all assume we're going to be like this forever when maybe we just need to be kind to ourselves, stabilise, then go back to it. it's not about doing nothing in the meantime, just working out what's right for you at that time. i'm being confusing and rambly again, i'm sorry. xxx
Thanks but they wouldn't. I wish it could be that I had just never existed, I don't want this, I don't understand why I have to be here, it doesn't seem very fair, in fact it feels incredibly cruel.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Everyone thinks that, that one one cares, but honestly if you died then you cant take that back, and you will never know the life you could have had. Life is ment to be a struggle, but its how you survive thats the main thing, you where born for a reason, one day you might figure that out, but everyone feels how you do at time.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I feel so trapped. I have been given this intelligence for what? As a tease - this is what you could have done? I see people who have no fucking clue getting on just because they have a bum on a seat but they have no idea how to get a good result for a client, how to go that extra mile. I do but am crippled by fucking inability to go into work and when I do, I'm just not how I used to be.
It's so cruel, I do want it to end.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
You need to stop beating yourself up. You know how intelligent you are. You know that criticising yourself will not help in this situation. You need some intensive help right about now and you aren't getting it atm.
