Triggering (Suicide) - Would this have made you angry?
I'm on a number of forums, including one for people who've got the same hormone problem I've got. So it's not a surprise to me that people on the internet can be jerks sometimes. But this made me really angry.
I was on that forum (and I consider many of these people to be my friends) and there was a thread about attempting suicide. Attempting seems to be pretty common for people with our hormone problem.
I posted my story, of my attempt by overdose. It took a lot to put that out there, even though it's been three years. I noted that now I realize it probably wouldn't have been fatal, but I would have spent a long time in the hospital.
One person replied "You have no chance of getting a liver if you've tried to kill yourself. Liver failure is a terrible way to die. It's very slow, it's painful for you and painful for those around you. Probably the worst way to die."
Yeah, thanks for the compassion and enlightenment. I know I wouldn't have gotten a transplant, and I wasn't gunning for one. I know it would have sucked for me and for my family. That's why I was attempting suicide. I don't need it pointed out to me.
Anyway, that remark still really stings and it makes me angry even though I attempted more than three years ago. Would you have been similarly irritated by a comment like that? 'Cause I'm not sure I'm justified in my anger.
"I asked the sun to tell me about the big bang. The sun said 'It hurts to become.'" -- Andrea Gibson, I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power Is Out
honestly... i dont think its an insensitive thing to say. I guessing the person that said that was there because they have some of the same problems. They probably just didnt realise it would offend you.
At the end of the day, it was more fact than personal opinion, and perhaps they didnt realise that you already knew.
I wasn't looking for sympathy or asking for help, it's just that everyone was sharing their stories and I thought it would be cathartic to share mine.
Just kinda feels like she's talking down to me. Like "Dumbass. You never would have gotten that right, and you still don't have it right. Stop being so selfish."
She probably didn't think it would offend me though, you're right about that.
"I asked the sun to tell me about the big bang. The sun said 'It hurts to become.'" -- Andrea Gibson, I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power Is Out
did she direct it specifically at you or to the thread in general?
Maybe you could pm her and talk to her about what she said, she may not have realised it affected you, and her response might ease your mind?
I think I might PM her when I have cooled down a little bit. Good thinking.
"I asked the sun to tell me about the big bang. The sun said 'It hurts to become.'" -- Andrea Gibson, I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power Is Out
Well I can see why you're upset by it, it's not the best thing to hear when you're talking about your attempted suicide, but I don't think it was intended to upset you.
I get really touchy about things online too, I get how easy it is to take something as an insult, but really you don't know if that's how the meant it!
It would have upset me also. I don't know if that was their intention, but I would have taken that hurtful. I'm sorry it happened and hope you feel better soon.
honestly, i found it insulting. i mean unless you were specifically talking about a liver transplant, what does it have to do with anything at all? it just seems like the point wasn't to really inform you (it's been 3 years, i think you know that suicide wasn't a good idea) but to express anger at people who are suicidal. i mean i understand that maybe she's lost someone to suicide, but that kind of comment won't help anyone feel better. Just going to set someone off... And it sounds like the person has only been on the other side of suicide... seeing people either attempting or succeeding, not really being there herself. If you've ever been suicidal or attempted, you know (unless you've totally blocked the memory of those feelings out) that suicide, while not right, is caused by great pain. And the only way to help a person is to show compassion. Now that's not saying, "ok go OD if it helps you", but "i understand you did that out of pain. i'm glad nothing happened and hope you feel better about yourself now" might be a better comment.
So while she probably wrote it out of bad experience, I think it was still insensitive and pointless. I can see why you're upset. But, don't let it get to you... You know other people care and it's not worth getting too upset over.
I would of been angry and I think you have every right to be as well. xo.
