Triggering (Suicide) - Im A Horrible Person

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 08:04 PM

I really am horrible, I have a friend who is NEVER going to forgive me, that friend, was the friend I put the harassment charges against.

I feel so awful.

I just want to curl up and hide away from the world.

But then I cant even deal with the feelings that I have right now so I dont even know where to begin.

Alone and Scared · 25-03-2009, 08:56 PM

There must have been a very good reason why you placed Harrassment Charges against them?

Can you try writing a few things down, or even just writing single words that describe how you feel perhaps? x

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 09:00 PM

I can do that, I WILL DO THAT :) im just scared because its the night time and Im alone, which is when I am most vunerable.

Alone and Scared · 25-03-2009, 09:01 PM

Can you use the sams to speak to - or someone like that? They can be very good at talking things through with you and helping you to rationalise and make sense of things? If that's something you could do? x

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 09:03 PM

good thinking :), sorry my brain is like mush right now, it doesnt want to think about anything.

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 09:10 PM

I emailed them, because I have no credit, will take them a while to reply im sure

Alone and Scared · 25-03-2009, 09:10 PM

It's ok, sometimes you just need to hear people give you ideas and options to open your head a little and settle the mush. We all need it sometimes. x

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 09:13 PM

I feel so exhausted though. I ODed yesterday and was rushed by ambulance, university was not impressed. I jsut feel like utter crap.

Katiee · 25-03-2009, 09:18 PM

Hey,
I don't know the background story of your friend. Though you're not a horrible person. *HUGS* xo.

Alone and Scared · 25-03-2009, 09:34 PM

Did they give you any treatment? xx

I am a cat · 25-03-2009, 09:36 PM

yeah :( I had fluids and charcoal. stayed the night.

Alone and Scared · 25-03-2009, 09:38 PM

Have they given you any help? Do you have any help at the moment? xx

Cryptic. · 25-03-2009, 10:11 PM

Oh hun, I'm so sorry things are so hard...
you're amazing, beautiful, strong, wonderful...
you can pull through.

Always here for you babes.

Popple · 26-03-2009, 09:58 AM

Sammi please let people help you. I don't know what happened with your friend but sometimes its just not healthy to be around some people.
You can get through this but only if you want to and are willing to work with people.
Take care of yourself.
x

I am a cat · 26-03-2009, 12:03 PM

Thank you, you are all wonderful.
I do get help.

I have a social worker, and a psychologist!

I just wonder will I get arrested for manslaughter if my "friend" was to kill herself.

Because When she found out about the harassment warning, I had told her how to get on top of a high building, just because I was going to do it, and it slipped out of my mind, thats where she went before the police picked her up.

Popple · 26-03-2009, 12:41 PM

If your friend was to kill herself it would still be suicide people are responsible for their own actions and you can't make someone kill themselves.

I am a cat · 26-03-2009, 06:34 PM

My social worker called me :D I am seeing her on monday, and im seeing my psych on wednesday, so i just need to keep myself safe till then :)

Popple · 26-03-2009, 06:35 PM

Thats good love Im glad =)

empty_feelings · 28-03-2009, 06:31 PM

I've not been very active on RYL, so you probably have no idea who I am, but just to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and I really hope that seeing your social worker on Monday helps. Also, as Katy says, suicide is always a person's own responsibility, no one else can be blamed for it.

Sarahx

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 28-03-2009, 07:45 PM

Sammi babe, I'm sorry things are so hard right now, I'm glad your have your psych and SW to support you. You are a truly fantastic person, and I wish you knew that. remember: "You must do the thing you think you can not do."
I'm routing for you,
xxx

Hannah