Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - not sure if this should go here

[TearsHurt]

I want to confront my brother about him abusing me but i'm scared of what he'll say.
I havent tlked to him in ages and then tonight we were tlking, he'd run away from school and was missing for 4 hours. He then told me he was going to beat up and kill this kid (hes forever threatining to kill ppl mainly my mum)
anyway i basically told him that hes old enough to know what hes doing and that if he keeps on threatining to beat ppl up/kill ppl and getting into trouble with the police then hes gonna end up dead or in prison. And that he needed to think about what this was doing to his life in the long term.
I wanna tell him how much he hurt me, i wanna tell him that he destroyed my life and made me want to die and hate myself. Not in a nasty milicious way. But because i want to know why he did it. I want to know why he tried to sexually abuse me. I reported it time and time again but social services my mum his dad all ignored it. The bloody care worker was there one time when it happened. My mum heard him say disgusting horrible things. None of them cared maybe cos they thought i was being stupid cos hes younger than me.
I dont know where im going with this i just need to vent this out before i do it to him.
I feel sick when i see a photo of him hear his voice. I have spent days and weeks crying about what hes done. Crying cos im meant to be meeting up with him and i'm scared out of my whits.
Is it wrong to want answers???
Everyone apart from my dad and his girlfriend have ignored it, even then no one ever speaks about it.
I dont want to spend my whole life scared of my brother and hating him.
I just want to know why but cant ask him cos i dont know what trouble it will cause.
When will it stop hurting?

[Katiee]

Hiiyah,
I'm sorry to hear what you're brother did to you. It must of been horrible. I, personally, think you should talk to someone else about what's been happening before you talk to your brother. Maybe get counselling or go to the doctors? Talk things over with a professional and get your head straight before try talking to your brother. Sorry I wasn't more helpful. Take care. xo.

[Shatterproof]

Firstly I would like to say, I am extremely sorry about what happened. It was horrible and wrong and you did not deserve for that to happen to you.

I am also extremely appalled that no one has actually done anything about this, but sadly this is often the case. So its left up to you to take action, which once again is wrong. I agree with Katiee. I think its essential that you approach your brother as you do deserve an answer as to why he did this to you, however I do not think its wise that you do this alone. You need to speak to someone, a professional, who can help you plan this in more depth and give you the advice and support you need.

I hope this has been helpful in some way. PM me anytime you want/need to chat.

Helen. xx

[Popple]

Im sorry that you have been treated like this, you have done nothing wrong and none of this is your fault because what he did was wrong.
For a lot of people confronting their abuser is a way getting closure but it can also cause you to feel even worse if you aren't in the right place and haven't come to terms with what has happened to you so you need to be very sure that it is what you want if you are going to do it.
Have you got any proffesional support? Maybe it would help to have someone to talk to about how this is affecting you, I know you have been let down in the past but sometimes you need to fight for the help you deserve.
Take care of yourself love
x