Hi Guys...Update On Me...1 Month Free *possible trigger*
hi everyone
well...i thought i would drop in and say that i had 1 month free a few days ago. i havent been able to be around due to all the troubles with my family. im really worried about my brother. hes drinking alot and ive had to accept that there is nothing i can do about it. ive tried everything.
anyhow...i reached a month but i dont really feel any accomplishment because it was basically necessary. i am going to see Keith in 2 weeks!!! my arms look better than they have in years and im actually wearing short sleeves. i have obvious scars but nothing fresh!! i havent had that many urges really. BUT the BIG thing that ive noticed is that i have a good cry almost every day. now, i dont know if thats normal but i really dont care because its always been hard for me to cry and it feels damn good to be able to. and i believe that my emotion is starting to come out in a bit more natural way instead of me forcing it out by harming.
i hope everyone is ok. i have missed you guys!!!
Love to all
xx
YAY!!!!!! Well done you! Now we're SI sisters too! I was one month free on the 4th of this month! I'd get a bracelet but the ryl shop isn't here yet. I'm not wearing short sleeves though because my last cuts were on my arms and were the worst I've ever done so I have to hide them from my family etc.
I'm really glad you're seeing Keith. How long is it since you've seen him? Is he excited? I bet he is, bless him.
The crying is very healthy. I do it quite a lot lately, it helps.
Hi Rachel,
one month is a brilliant achievement,congratulations and well done. There is nothing wrong with crying,its a very healthy emotion and much better than SI'ing.
take care Xx
Today I'll try to become more aware of alternatives that I haven't yet realised.
Although I have no control over other people's reactions or thoughts, I can change the way I react.
thanks guys!!!
it has been a VERY long time since ive seen Keith. in fact, this has been the longest we've ever gone. i havent seen him since christmas!!! but we've talked on the phone alot and emailing. i absolutely cant wait. its going to be a short visit just for a weekend. he will be back in school. but anything is better than nothing!!! also, hes getting older now and is making more contact with me on his own now which is really cool. normally, im always calling him but lately hes been calling me and that is so great. it feels good to know he actually wants to talk to me. i have felt so bad for so long after letting him go. but things seem to be falling into place for us now. he doesnt have any anger towards me as of yet. i do everything i can to keep our relationship as normal as it can be. i still feel like his Mommy and i think he still feels like my son. i never wanted that to change and from what im seeing it hasnt!!!
WOW...i got a bit carried away there. im just really excited!!!
xx
*hugs* rachel that's fantastic! From what you've said to me on msn, I truly believe you have taken a step towards recovery. crying isn't all that great, i know, but it's fantastic instead of harming. you're right it's a more natural way to release emotion, and if it helps, please continue!
so happy to hear you're feeling stronger. please try to remember keith is your son, you don't need to babysit anyone else, inc your bro. If he has money for beer, then I'd suggest he has money for rent too. *cuddles* so glad you're feeling more positive, missed you, mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Well done on crying for a month!
I mean .....well you know wot i mean! :P
Love
Matthew xxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
such wonderful news rachel, so glad to hear that you have made it a whole month and that you are talking to your son, it's really wonderful. gives you many hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hunni I am SO proud of you!!
*big hugs*
Sorry I've got bothing else, but good job really!!
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Crying is a much better method of expressing your emotions. Well done on being a month free. Doesn't matter if you call it necessary, you should still feel a HUGE sense of achievement, because you actually DID IT!
I found that I started being able to cry a lot more after I started harming yes, and although it sucks, it's great that you're able to express your emotion in a healthy way.
Well done Rachel. I'm dead chuffed for you. And I hope you have a great time with Keith. Hard work like this deserves a good reward, and I think that seeing your boy would be the best reward in the world.
Take care sweetheart.
xox
