Well, I wont go in to detail, I dont know where that will take me so best avoide that road.
Basically, since I was 12 (now nearly 24) I have struggled against depression and later schizoaffective disorder, or so im told.
Yesterday I completely broke down in front of my fiance, in 4 years together I have NEVER let things get to the point that I cant control them.
Yesterday tho it was just too much.
I can live with this illness crippling me but when it is also affecting my fiance then that is enough. something needs to change.
Anyhow, I have made an appointment with my dr for today at 9.20am. it was the next available appointment.
I have been thru the docs before, been on the meds, spoke to the CPNs, it didnt help then so I am doubtful it will help this time round but for my fiance's sake I need to try.
Now however whilst I feel a small relief having made the appointment I am terrified of what I am going to say, I really have no idea how to put any of this in to words that will accurately explain why I am there and what I want.
I've been thru this before (some 5 years ago at least) but it is no easier, I am just as lost, confused and scared.
Can you guys n gals help me work out what I am ment to say to the doc, I dont want to be just another 'oh tell him to come back in 2 weeks' case. this has went on for 12 years and it needs to stop. I need to be able to put in to words everything that is going on so the dr knows and can help me.
I hope they will give me some new meds to try and refer me back to my old CPN. at least that is TRYING to get better.
I need this. I can't go on this way any longer.
Help?
Last edited by Marko : 25-03-2009 at 11:51 AM.
Reason: new title
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
I thik that saying what you have typed here would be a very good start.
It is good that you have made an appointment.
I want to kiss the bottom of the ocean before I burst through its surface into the sunlight, otherwise I will always be wondering about what was left unseen at the bottom
i'm tired of chasing my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
now for the annoying part, yesterday morning I was so so low thats when I made the appointment, last night I couldn't have been happier and today I feel really upbeat and cheerful!
Its crazy, can I not be one or the other?!
I need to get it planned today as to what I am going to say!
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
Hey well done for making the appointment and im glad that you are going in the morning!
Please just be as open and honest with them as possible.
i think you need to say everything that you said in your first post and also that it is very important that you mention about the mood swings you describe in your posts below that also.
i know it is hard and sometimes uncomfortable but they need to know all these things in order to help you.
Could you take this thread in with you to give to them or at least prompt yourself or make another list of prompts to take with you instead?
Perhaps you can add to it before you go and then you could look at it when you are there too or give it to them?
This can help to make sure you mention everything you feel you need to and dont forget anything.
Finally also as you say it can help to think about what you may want from the appointment before you go and from my experiences you may very well be asked this while there so it is good to think about it but also dont worry if you dont know as im sure they will understand this too hopefully and be able to put some options to you and let you know what they suggest/what may be available to help with your problems etc etc.
Good luck and i hope that it goes well.
Do let us know if you want to/feel upto it.
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
I havent been yet, 59 minutes to go! I'm SOOOO nervous!
Going to, in a nut shell, ask to be sent back to the cpn. not much point discussing in details everything with the GP cos they aint trained as well as cpn's for MH stuff. Of course I will explain why I feel the need to re-see my cpn after so many years.
eeeek!
a bit of morale support anyone?
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
The dr was actually really easy to talk to, I started by saying I basically would like to be referred back to the CPN and explained why, did the NHS depression / anxiety test on her computer and scored 16/21 depression and 11/21 anxiety. joys.
Anyhow, she said she doesnt think CPN would be best route for me to try and suggested CBT and a low dose of fluxotin? I told her I was reluctant to try meds again but figured I dont really have much to lose.
Anyhow, she has asked me to pop back in about 3 weeks to see how things are going and is referring me to the CBT people but said that could be next week, could be 2 months hence would like to see me in a few weeks.
Not to bad and I feel very relieved for having went.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
that was the CPN people many years ago, I dont think ive ever believed them.
started on the new meds today and might as well have not taken it, no immediate side affects or anything unlike the citalopram stuff i was on years and years ago!
I guess only time will tell now what is going to happen, at least im trying something for once.
thanks everyone who has wished me well, I appreciate it although remain sceptical about anything good happenin any time soon... ive got nothing to lose.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
Anti depressants take about 2 weeks to feel any effect and up to 8 weeks to feel their benefit. You might also need to dosage altered to get it to work so dont hold up for an imediate relief.
Hugs. Antidepressants take time to work, but I'm hoping you the best.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
