Triggering (Suicide) - so confused

little_miss · 22-03-2009, 09:07 PM

Yeh well basically i am really confused. I am living in a dream. This world is not reality. I have been living in this dream all my life, but i have only just recently realised it. This world is not real. I know it isnt. I am trapped in this dream, and i cant wake up. I tell my parents and my friends, this is not real you know, this IS a dream, but they tell me its reality. It cant be. It doesnt make any sense.
Yesterday i went to addenbrookes hospital, Cambridge to visit me aunt, but there was a bridge we had to walk over, i was just thinking, why dont i just jump? It really doesnt matter because it is only a dream, its not like there will be any consequences from it.
And on friday night, i went into town with a couple of friends just to walk around, and i just had the thought of throwing bricks into the windows of the shops, because it will make the dream more exciting. And again, it is only a dream, so who cares if i do it?
I cant wake up from this dream. This is not a real world.
And also i was at church this morning and my mind was so confused, i was hearing words being spoken but didnt take in anything that was going on, and when it was the sermon, i knew that this was all a tape, what people were saying had been previously recorded, everything that was happening was not with real people. They were people made out of wax. This is not a real world.

Katiee · 22-03-2009, 10:45 PM

Hun, I can sorta relate. *HUGS*
Do you have any professional help or support? xo.

Shatterproof · 23-03-2009, 01:19 AM

Sweetie, I'm really sorry that you're going though this confusing time. I wish I could take it all away, but the fact of the matter is you need to get help. You need to tell someone (your parent, friends, doctor, anyone) about these thoughts and feelings you're having.

PM me anytime you need/want to chat, OK? xx

Popple · 23-03-2009, 10:17 AM

Im sorry you are having a bad time at the moment but remember you can get through this so never give up.
Have you go any proffesional support? I really think you should speak to someone about how you are feeling because you don't have to cope with this on your own.
Feel free to pm me if you need anything.
Take care of yourself love
x

little_miss · 24-03-2009, 01:13 PM

Thanks for the replies, and for supporting me through this.
Yes I have got support. I am being seen by the Early Intervention Team (in psychosis) several times a week.
I was walking round town earlier, and it really wasnt real. The world, everyone in it, they are being controlled. Everyone is a character in this game, people are walking around because they are being controlled. No movement is of their own choice.
Im scared. Im the only one who realises this-the secret in this "world". Its not a real world.

Popple · 24-03-2009, 02:33 PM

Can you explain this to the EIT because the more they know the more they can help.
Take care
x