Triggering (Suicide) - Desperate!

[over and out]

Ok, not used RYL for a few weeks now properly...But had to come back tonight because I don't know what to do and I'm scared.

I got really suicidal and I don't understand why really, I spent an hour crying earlier and had to lie to my step sister when she asked what was wrong because I didn't want her to know about stuff.
I think my mum found out about my suicidal past today as well which is scaring me. She may have also found out about my smoking which is also scaring me. I tried to turn to a few mates tonight but they are all too busy to give a damn about me and I feel so useless and worthless I wish I was dead! I'm stopping myself from cutting because I don't want my mate to see my scars or know I'm not ok but I don't know how long I can hold off.

I don't really know the point of this post I'm just kind of desperate for any sort of support.

[jesslove]

Hang in there. I hope youre okay, at least safe for now. I don't know you but I bet a lot of people need you here. Just live for them until you can find youre own reasons. Do you have any professional support? Maybe it's best that youre mum knows, maybe she can support you a bit.
PM me if you ever need to talk or anything.
Always here to listen
<3

[over and out]

my mum found out about the depression and the only support i got then was about once every few weeks she'd ask how I was doing.

I'm waiting for my doctors to send me a letter about councelling but its a six month waiting list and i got referred a month ago so i have another 5 months to wait...

[jesslove]

Oh im sorry.
Does your dr know how..urgent it is?
Take care.
<3

[over and out]

Yea but there's nothing more that she can do now... she said if it gets worse then to go back to get help but im scared to go back in case she has to tell my mum

[Left.]

*hugs*
I'm so sorry things are as tough right now sweetie, but you CAN get through this.
i would recommend that you go back to the doctors hun. i know how terrifying it is to go once and then have to go back again, but it really would be best for yourself.
do you have any ideas why you felt this way?


PM me if you want hun.
take care!

xxx

[over and out]

I think it was stress of everything. I couldn't sleep last night because I had so much going through my mind. I have got three assignments in for college in the next month, I have to pay my mate back forty quid, my sister when we get leeds tickets so that will be about 150 quid maybe more and then i have to pay her back for my mothers day present and the internet so im looking at 210 quid in debt and I get paid 190 meaning i have to go into my savings. I'm stressing to the max because I'm getting behind and owe money all over the place. I'm scared and panicking.

[Left.]

i understand how frustrating this can all be, that money troubles never seem to go away.
why don't you talk to your sister and friend. you don't necessarily have to go into details if you don't want to, but you could just say that you're having a hard time right now and are struggling to come up with all of the money just now. you could even pay back in installments.
i know its easier said than done but try not to let it bother you too much sweetie

xxx

[Katiee]

Hey,
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling.
Is there anyone who you could talk to about things? Do you have a counsellor or anything? xo.

[Amanda77]

hey you should know that if you ever get really suicidal you can just go to the emergency room. People there can help and if they end up not at least you delayed yourself from making a mistake and had time to think about everything that's caused you to get this way. You don't have to do everything! If you need a break just let people know!
*Hugs*

[over and out]

If I say I need help I only do half of my course if I say anything at college and I have to finish it now. I never know how I will feel tomoro so its pointless saying I want to finish the course totally.