Hey sweetie, I'm sorry you're feeling so low right now. I know it's difficult to feel this way. Perhaps you're asking for help because you want another way out that isn't suicide, but you don't know what that is. Perhaps you feel like you don't want to hurt yourself, but you don't know how to feel this way and not hurt yourself.
I am sure you're not a terrible person; sometimes you may feel that way, but that doesn't make it true. Try to think of some things that you like about yourself - anything - no matter how small. Write whatever you think of down to try to lessen the feelings of hate you have towards yourself.
Depression is horrible in that there will be good days, and there will be bad days. When the good days come, you have to save them, live them. When the bad days come, you have to take good care of yourself and remember the good days. You have to remind yourself that sometime soon, a good day will come around again. That it will be ok. That even if you can't see it, the bad day won't last forever.
However much you're hurting right now, suicide is not your answer. It won't stop the pain for anyone else - because they will have to deal with losing you. And I know that sometimes it hurts so, so much to keep holding on, but you don't have to do this alone and your suffering isn't permanent.
Stay safe
xxx
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