Triggering (SI/ED) - slipping up all the time

[~KemicalRain~]

oh well its happening again i am flying off the handle at anything and everything.... its like i am just picking at everything to find a problem... and then i will b/p, ristrict or cut i feel really terrible for doing it i just really dont want to feel i dont want to be here i dont care i have fallen in love too many times i have been every where done everything
i cant stand it sorry i am rambling i just need some support right now because all i seem to be doing is slipping up....
KAZ

[VitaMia]

Everybody slips up, its just a natural part of the process. Don't think that it means you won't suceed.

[Merc]

^^^ thats true...it is part of it.
But you also sound like you are 'self-sabotaging'...when things are ok you LOOK for a wriong in order to do these things to you. You cant jsut take 'level' or happy it seems. I know..i do it alot. But slowly getting out it, so it is possible.
Do you have a doc/couns you are working with? If not, id say find one!! If so, have you told them just what you wrote up there? Be a good idea...if youcant say it, just print this off..it says it well.
Here if you need ok?
Pls take care
romp

[Margo]

At least you recognise it as slipping!
I understand the need to "look for trouble" as it were. Any form of self harm/self injury to counter-act the fact that you are still here.

Its a hard struggle.
Just keep reaching out. Thats about the best advice i can give. Somewhere along the line someone will take your hand and lead you to safety!