Triggering (Suicide) - hurting so much

[grizzlybear]

i od last saturday. everything just feels so hopeless and I can't seem to find a way through this pain. it just hurts so much.

I feel like its never going to get better and I CAN'T live if it hurts this much. I feel like its always going to be like this and I can't stop the pain, I can't do this anymore, I just want the pain to stop, is that really too much to ask. I just want to be happy but its never going to happen.

I feel so suicidal today and I don't no how to make it stop or how to get through it.

I cant see a way out of this, I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and I want to fight this but I am always fihting it ,and I don't no if I have got the strength anymore, I just don't no if I can do it ,cause I am hurting so much inside.

[extreme turbulance]

Hey hunny,
I feel very similar to you at the moment tbh. It feels like a never ending viscous circle that just keeps spinning faster and faster doesnt it? How about you pm me and we try to cheer each other up a little bit? or try and talk through what the matter is with me? *hugs*

[tamobhuuta]

i know how difficult it is when you feel this bad, i'm sorry you're struggling *hugs* do you know if anything in particular triggered things for you, are there problems in your life at the moment that are making you feel bad? what happened when you ODed, did you tell anyone?

[grizzlybear]

I think there are alot of things making me feel bad right now ,in fact there are so many things, that I just feel so overwhelmed and don't no where to begin.

the main thing is that I saw my mum for the first time in three years after xmas.

I was abused by my biological dad, but i had shut it out of my head, I have not been able to remember the abuse at all until now, I had just blocked it out and it had stayed blocked out for years. But seeing my mum unblocked it and I am finding it so hard to deal with.

I went to a and e when I oded. my care co ordinator knows about the overdose and so do some of my friends.

[Katiee]

Hii,
I'm sorry to hear how bad you're feeling. Are you getting any professional help and/or support? Please talk to someone. *HUGS* xo.

[tamobhuuta]

i'm sorry the memories of the abuse have come back. could you talk to your CPN about these feelings? or as it's the weekend would you be better off trying the out of hours line, if you have one, or going to A&E?