I dont know what to do.
I really dont know what to do anymore.
I feel so hopeless.
I feel so alone.
I feel so inadequate.
I wish I had never been born.
I really want to die.
I feel as if Im being suffocated.
I feel as though I cant live another day.
No one even cares,
I dont have a single friend that cares.
They cant see past my plastic smile.
Do they even want to see past it?
Would they even care if they could see past it?
I HATE ALL OF THIS!
Why cant I be like all the other girls?
Would that make me happier?
Or am I doomed to be unhappy forever?
IM SORRY FOR WASTING SPACE!
IM SORRY FOR BEING HERE WHEN I DONT DESERVE ANYONE TO LOVE ME!
A cry for help? I know its pointless and no one even cares.
Im new around here so I dont expect anyone to care!
I just needed to say it, I suppose.
IM SORRY. SO SO SO SO SORRY.
to find out if people care you have to let them in. is there someone you trust in real life who you could tell even a little bit of ths to? thinsg are not hopeless even though they might feel it right now. you're not alone here, and you're not inadequate, you don't have to apologise for being you.
theres no one really. i do have friends that i feel close to but they all have there own problems and i feel as if i have to be there for them all the time but there never there for me. i used to talk to them loads and tell them everything and they really would try and help and i did start to feel better for a bit but then i slipped back down and i dont want to admit that to them as they woudl be soo disappointed and feel like all there efforts had gone to waste!
Don't be sorry, hun. People do care. Do you have any family members who you trust to talk to? Maybe a teacher/school counsellor? I think maybe you should talk to someone. You are obviously having a very, very difficult time. You're not wasting space and you do deserve love. *HUGS* Take care, we're always here for you hun. xo.
i think it'd be worth talkign to your friends. ok, you risk them feeling let down but they would feel far worse if they found uot later how bad you'd been feeling and hadn't been able to help.
i really dont know. because they must realize things are bad because they know me but maybe its too much for them right now. They all have there own problems to deal with and lots of exams coming up. They dont have the time or energy to deal with my patheticness.
it's not patheticness, you deserve help just as much as them. often people want to help others when they are in need of it themselves - look at everyone here on RYL.
*Cuddles you* Im really sorry about the way your feeling and also that your having such a tough time. Do you have any proffessional support? What about your parents? Do they know how bad things are for you? Could you write a letter to them explaining whats happening for you? Please dont end your life there are so many people that care about you. I realise that whilst your feeling the way you are that you feel as if no one cares about you but please trust me when i say that there are lots of people who care about you.
Can you talk to us some more about what it is thats making you feel this way? What is it thats making you wish you were dead? Whats happening for you? Im sorry that you wish you were never born, i know what its like to feel that way. Your not wasting space at all. There is no limit to the amount of times that you ask for support on here. Please keep safe, i really dont want to see anything bad happen to you. Your not pathetic, your experiencing alot of pain and your going through a very tough time but that does not make you a waste of space or pathetic.
I was seeing a cousellor once a week and it was great and everyone thinks im doing great and that I'm better so now i only see her once a month. my mum doenst care - we havent really spoken since just before christmas. my dad works in sweden and only come home one weekend a fortnight. i hate the way i look. i hate that i dont fit in. anywhere. wherever i go people think im a freak. i look like a man. my old mates disowned me after finding out i was gay. everyone thinks im clever but im not. i dont understand anything in any of my lessons and everyones expecting for me to miraculously get outstanding gcse results and its not going to happen. IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH! thats what the voices tell me. i will never be good enough! I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! not for me, not for them, not for anyone.
you are good enough, just the way you are. it doesn't matter about your GCSEs you'll do your best, get whatever marks you get and that'll be that, everyone will just have to deal with it. maybe you need to talk to your mum about this stuff, it sounds like you're having to cope with a lot. even if you haven't spoken in a while it'll be worth it to be able to talk to someone about what you need.
theres no one really. i do have friends that i feel close to but they all have there own problems and i feel as if i have to be there for them all the time but there never there for me. i used to talk to them loads and tell them everything and they really would try and help and i did start to feel better for a bit but then i slipped back down and i dont want to admit that to them as they woudl be soo disappointed and feel like all there efforts had gone to waste!
hey,
I read this and it sounds so much like my story. Its awful to know youre always there for them, even when you're in a shitty mood, even when you're happy and dont want to be bothered, you're there for them. But then, when you need them the most, theyve suddenly found somewhere else to be.
i send you hugs and if you ever need anything, just PM me.
At the very least if you can't find many people in real life to talk to, the people on this site are some of the most supportive, most amazing people.
I will get there. Someday
When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
I gave everything to you.
And you betrayed me. Just like everyone else.
I'm done.
