Psychatrist appointment (for first time in about 6 months)

[Ami]

I've got a psych appointment on 30th march, for the first time in ages. I've not met the dr before. I asked my nurse to get me one but im not sure i even want to go.

Nurse asked me today "what do I want out of the appointment?". I have no idea.

I dont want meds (because of side effects/zombie feeling) and i hate talking out my thoughts and feelings. I dont even know if i want to get better. I could kill myself and never feel pain again. I get absolueltey no pleasure out of life, so why persue it? Why prolong these feelings??

Maybe I could go to the appointment saying i want out from the deprssion, the voices and thoughts, try some meds properly (at least 8 weeks) and see the crack then. I've tried this before and i just didnt comply with meds due to heavy sedation.

Im sick of people saying "you've done so well" too. Wow, i havent attempted suicide in a few month. Doesnt mean I feel any different, and doesnt mean I haven't got idea's for my next attempt either. I'm just holding on until it will work, rather than doing shitty attempts that prob wont work and just end me up in a crappy adult ward.

Sorry i just feel so fed up.

Thanks for reading xx

[fakesmiler]

wow this sounds exactly like me.... I saw my psych this morning, first time in a year and my CPN came with me. I had taken myself off my meds about 4 months ago because i was fed up of the zombie feeling. I went today and she asked me what i want, well the only reason I went is because my CPN said i hadnt seen a psych in ages ( my cpn was off for 4months was suppost to see one in that time but i dont no the dr very well and wont go with my CPN for the first few times i had only seen the dr once before) they have decided to try my on new meds, as my other ones didnt do anything but make me emotionally dead, and ive been crying alot the last week, just cried for reasons im not sure of.
I would suggest going, just telling the psych exactly what you have said here, that your notsure what else to try or even go from here, you dont feel your doing well and that your just fed of feelin depressed, ask of theres anything they can offer you apart from meds, maybe a psychologist to looks specifically at ways to combat ur down moods naturally and by ways of self talk prehaps?
Id just go and be honest, they cant force u to take meds even if they try and give them to you, goin and seein what she has 2 say has gotta be worth a try?
hope this ramble has hepled
PM me at anytime x

[Katiee]

Heyya,
I don't know what to say, but I think you should just discuss this with your psych. Take care, hope it goes well. xo.

[Ami]

Thanks for replies :)

Reading back on the thread i just sound pathetic. Maybe when i go i could could pretty much explain to the dr what i have just then. xx