*? triggers for poss everything*

[l'il esky]

i hate this stupid life!im struggling so much and i dont know how to get through it anymore, ive lost my fight with this disease

[trina1723]

*hugs tight*
sorry i have nothing else to say but i thought id send hugs
xxx

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Sorry you are feeling like this Holly. Has this come about somehow due to the therapy you are undergoing? What exactly is it that makes you feel so bad right now?

[Katiee]

Hun, please don't give up!
If you're struggling please let someone know. So then they can give you the right support and maybe help you. Are you getting any professional help? Take care. xo.

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time. You sound so defeated but at the same time you haven't lost the fight because you are still alive and there are things that you can do to work through your feelings, we all have times when fighting becomes difficult but it's not impossible. What things in particular are you finding hard to deal with? Please stay strong and take care. I'm here if you need anything.

[l'il esky]

the thing i am struggling with most is that i am loosing all the people i trust! like my gp and my manager....these are people i can tell ANYTHING too, like how crap im feeling, the fact that i've brought new tools, anything.
it feels like whenever i ask for help i get something taken away from me like i dont deserve it. like i have to stay like this and struggle forever

my manager is preg and i am sooo happy for her but at the same time it emphasizes how everyone else is moving on with there life and am stuck behind as the l'il depressed one who cant deal with anything emotional. i want a baby and a family soooooo much. yet i cant have it cos i am soooo messed up
also as my CAT pysch said, she thinks i am freaking out about it cos my relationship will change between my manager and me and that is a big factor for me! like how can i ask for help when she has her own l'il people to look after!

my medical help / support, whatever included....
my gp-taken away from me
my careworker, marcea-taken away from me
new careworker, wendy- taken away from me!
haven't had anyone replaced at cmht
my rock-grace and lynn, gone/going on maternity leave!
why cant i keep anyone i need!!!!! and i know i am being selfish and its not that i dont want them to have babies.....i guess im jealous and i need them!!!

oh yeh and lisa, my psych

so yeh, struggling!!! supposed to be having a meeting with my manager tomorrow but she is doing interviews all day so im not sure when that will happen....and i have my new appt with the new gp surgery tomorrow and i dont wana talk about MH and SH the people who i want to know, know. they just have all been taken away from me!

thank you all for your support xx