|
Triggering (SI/Suicide) - When can someone say, 'you can give up now'?
When can someone say to me, you can give up now. Because what's the point of saying to me, you have to keep trying, and hold in there and stay positive, because you are going to say that to me whatever, so it has no meaning.
I don't want to try anymore. I really don't. No one understands me. People say you're not a failure, you're not worth nothing, or this pain is understandable. It is not understandable unless you live inside my head. Why can't people say yes, you are a failure. Because honestly, and that's honestly, I am.
I keep cutting, and I'm not stopping. I tried to kill myself, I turn everything on myself. Even my friend said I need to stop pitying myself. I am so so selfish it is unbelievable. I'm dirty, sick, disgusting. No one could ever want me, I'm damaged goods.
So if people reply to this, could someone actually be honest with me, and not give the text book answers of; yes, this is a common way to feel, or 'keep trying'. Could someone actually say to me, yes I think its time for you to give up, or yes, you are a screw up compared to lots of other people who have worse problems than you, yet dont pitty themselves and carry on with life. I'm pretty sure thats how a lot of people who know me feel in their heart. I'm pretty sure my Dr feels that way, especially after my appointment last week.
*sighs*
I'm sorry, but you are probably going to say, there is nothing to be sorry about. But there is isnt there?
|
