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Rant - Do i want it back?
I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. Every little thing reminds me of you, and it’s driving me insane. I thought I’d got over it, given up on the impossible dream, but it’s haunting me. The fact that I can’t be with you, I can’t be as happy as I know I would be with you, I can’t physically be in your arms, is driving me crazy.
I don’t suppose you want to hear this, and I’m sorry; I don’t particually want to be saying it either. No, I do. And that’s what I hate.
I want to be saying all these things to you, actually to you. Face to face, flesh to flesh, breath to breath.
I fell for you a long time ago, almost three years now, and I still feel it. The twinge I get every time I think about you is still there. I never said it half as much as I should’ve at the time, but... I love you.
I want to be back in that place, that deep dark, comforting place. I want back my dangerous security, my ticking time bomb. I want it all back.
Bones, Blood, it all. It makes me happy. Makes me feel. Makes me ill?
I’m seeing people, I hear them talk to me when no-one else can. There’s two of them, smartly dressed with briefcases and they’re telling me to jump. That I have to jump. But I don’t know where from, or what they mean. I’m not suicidal, I just miss it all.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Maybe I am? Please tell me I’m not. Someone, tell me I’m not crazy.
Crazy
Crazy
Crazy.
Like they used to imply.
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